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IELTS Essay : How is your generation different from your parent's generation


w_even 6 / 14 1  
Oct 31, 2012   #1
Hi,

I wrote this essay on following topic. I would highly appreciate your valuable comments on it. Thank you.

Topic: Every generation of people is different in important ways. How is your generation different from your parent's generation?

My father would often say "Things were quite different when we were young. Today's generation is beyond my comprehension". I acknowledge him and tell him that the change is inevitable as with the passage of time the thinking of people changes. I can see that there are various my generation is quite different to my elder's generation in various ways.

To begin with, I find that younger people are more modern and open minded than their parents. They openly discuss and acknowledge the social issues which were considered taboo by previous generation. For example, youngsters of this time and age consider homosexuality pretty natural and get along with people of different sexual preferences peacefully. In contrast, their older folks deemed same gender sex satanic and they treated gays with utter disgust, considering them people of low moral values.

In addition to above mentioned, another noteworthy difference is that adolescents of present are more educated than their ancestors. Furthermore, current generation is more interested in getting higher education. Taking my own family as an example, my father is the only child who managed to earn a university degree in comparison to his siblings, who bade farewell to education after high school. Whereas I, my brothers and sister all of us are graduates. Even my eldest sister is defending her thesis proposal in a month or two.

Putting it in a nutshell, there is no disaccord in opinion that there are various gaps between the two generations. Instead of letting these different perspectives about life separate the two fractions, I would recommend that the members of the generations should find out ways to get along with each other.

hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Nov 1, 2012   #2
in the open paragraph, it will be better if you mention the main differences between your and your father's generation, the essay will be easier to follow

at the end of each paragraph in body part, i think you should have a short sentence to conclude or restate the idea
in general, your writing is pretty good ;)
OP w_even 6 / 14 1  
Nov 1, 2012   #3
Thanks hvthoteen for your valuable comments.

do you think it is Ok to quote someone in the introductory paragraph ? as i did
hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Nov 2, 2012   #4
i rarely see people quote someone in their writing, especially essays written by ietls teachers so i think it should be informal
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Nov 2, 2012   #5
My father would often say "Things were quite different when we were young. Today's generation is beyond my comprehension". I acknowledge him and tell him that the change is inevitable as with the passage of time the thinking of people changes.

.... Very impressive. I think there's no harm in having quotes in your essay so long as they are relevant to your topic.Here it does because your topic is about generation gap which is very much due to time difference. It is mostly the essay structure that you need to pay attention in this type of exams that helps you earn marks. However, as suggested by hvthoteen, I too recommend that you introduce the differences you are going to talk about in the body para very briefly. The last sentence you have written does not add much value to your essay and you better replace it with a more meaningful sentence. My suggestion:

Although there are so many differences one can observe between the two generations, mine and my parent's, I find that the youth today are much more open minded and educated in contrast to the people of earlier generation.

You have very good vocabulary and good writing skills. Your essay structure is arranged as per the requirements of IELTS because you give reasons for your opinion and support them with good examples. You will surely go for a flying score :D

Good Luck!
Heina 5 / 14 4  
Nov 2, 2012   #6
I acknowledge him and tell him

To begin with

---> First

They openly discuss and acknowledge

(repeat the 2nd time ---> recognize)

In addition to above mentioned

WhereasI, my brothers and , my sister and Iall of us are graduates

Hope it will help you, w_even :D
Hello w_even, hvthoteen, dumi :) Can you help me with my essay? I am in a hurry to complete it by 10 November ;) Thanks you so much ^^


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