Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


"Your generation will be the one that changes everything" - ENG101


wassupwoodsie 1 / -  
Feb 5, 2015   #1
The essay is regarding a compare and contrast on my parents and I. I feel as if I am just rambling, some advice on structure and whatnot please... I still need a stronger introduction and I am not sure how to conclude this.

"Your generation will be the one that changes everything." Constantly, I am reminded that I am the future of this great big world, as intimidating as that expression sounds I think most young adults will agree. Left and right we are raised to a higher standard by our parents; with technology, fashion and even socially.

My parents are both hard working grocery employers with minimal education experience. My fifty-two year old mother has worked for Albertsons for almost a quarter of a century. My just shy of forty-four years old father has relocated at multiple grocery industries within the past ten years. Although, their work fields have stayed consistent, the money has not always. Growing up my father was a real-estate broker and constantly introduced families to their new homes weekly. In 2006, my parents finally purchased their first home in Las Vegas, Nevada, however when the market crashed, so did they. My parents became accustomed to rental houses and it has been that way ever since. They have settled into a more froogle way of living, for example, they prefer the bland, generic values rather than the name-branded consumables. My mother never sees daylight due to her vampirous skin and a long history of hereditary skin cancer. She used to read a sci-fi novel a day and now thanks to Facebook she weaves a web of video games. My father lives in the great outdoors and appreciates a good hike at least once a month. My parents live very normal mediocre lives, whereas I desire to have a more extravagant lifestyle. On the contrary, there is nothing wrong with the way my parents live, but growing up never able to encounter the finer things in life or even a vacation once a year has really altered my dreams of adulthood. I desire a more educated and financially stable future, in which my parents were incapable of providing for me. I am very appreciative of my parents and the lifestyle I have had growing up, because it has made realize and understand the importance of a higher education.

We learn from our parents mistakes and most of us will do everything and anything to not end up like our parents. The truth is that our parents and us are not as diverse as we wish we were from them. I am a product of my mother and my father and their mothers and fathers. I am a spawn of my parents and my parents' parents. I am a mythological alien of the Sci-Fi woman who raised me. I am a soulfully outdoorsman of the mountain man who raised me. I am what my parents raised me to be; respectful, patient and open-minded. I am who I am because my parents raised me this way, I may have not had money to get me fancy things, but my parents taught me how to survive. It is today's society in which results, the differences in my generation and theirs. Today's society and the social norm is constantly changing. It alters fashionably from pink is the new black to black is the new black almost simultaneously. What differs between our parental figures' generation and our own are simple, yet complex. The technology differences are that an average teenager spends roughly an average of 40 hours a week on internet related devices, meanwhile, the average 50 year old asks a teenager how to work a mobile device at least once or twice a week. We are all raised to understand right from wrong and left from right however, the difference in our social standards have become the normality of interaction. It has become acceptable to "like" or "heart" an image on Twitter or Instagram of people whom we have never met or even communicated with. Whereas, Our parents would not dare converse with strangers because that is the way they were raised, they were taught the importance of stranger danger. Although, with the internet, we are introduced and aware of predators and "catfishes" on the daily. The only difference here is that it isn't a top priority anymore to fish out the bad spawns of the world and we have become more accustomed to the social aspects of technology.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Feb 5, 2015   #2
You are right about your essay rambling on. It also deviates from the basic compare and contrast format towards the end as you discuss much broader topics than just your parents. Later on in your essay, you seem to be tackling on the whole debate regarding the generation gap. Try to bring more focus and direction to your essay by stepping back and examining the relationship that you currently have with your parents. What do you normally argue about? How do they say your generation is different from theirs? Base the essay content on just one or two of those topics for the most effective compare and contrast discussion. Remember, the point of this issue is not to just keep pointing out the differences between you and your parents, but also, to compare how you are alike in some ways. Strike that balance in the way you write the essay and your rambling should stop. Limit the topics for your discussion and you will find focus and a central theme for the essay as well.
midorimido 2 / 7  
Feb 5, 2015   #3
Hi wassupwoodsie,

If you want to compare your live with your parents, I suggest you to separate different case in different paragraph. It is make your essay more easy to read.

Overall, your grammar good enough.


Home / Writing Feedback / "Your generation will be the one that changes everything" - ENG101
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳