This is my second essay and i hope anyone can help me in revising it.
I am sure it is logically and grammatically accurate and with help, i know it for certain.
Every generation of people is different in important ways. How is your generation different from your parents' generation? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
In my view, people from different ages do not possess the same things which may be considered either right or wrong. Moreover, the social trends old generation were familiar with ...
I just have small opinion: I think your essay doesn't have general view, you just wrote mostly about the " appearance", your examples were detailed but not prototypical. I was expected to changes in the ideology, the generation gap. If you resolve these points well your essay would be very profound.
[quote=joseph240]Every generation of people[/b] different in important ways. How is your generation different from your parents' generation? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
people from the past ages do not possess the same approaches to consider which traditions are appropriate and which one is inappropriate . In addition to this the social trends and values that old generation were familiar with have changed tremendousely through the past decates. The cultural reform has provided the modern generation with totally different way of eating, living and clothing.
In the first place , we tend to have a meal with spoon and chopstick, not with hands like our parents 'generation.
In the past, people used to eat with their hands even in a big gatherings and they do not care for forieigners and tourists from other countries . The modern generations ; however, got fammiliar with table manners brought from western cultures which influenced eating habits dramatically . In another words, people had to inevitably adapt their eating habit from eating by hands to eating by spoon and chopstick .As a result , foreigners wont judge new generations as an uncivile people.
In the second place , my generations are more likely to go out to get exposed to ( meet) new people rather than getting together only with our relatives.
People of older generations did not have tendecy to interact and socialize with strangers .In Today' modern society , due to the influence of western cultures that encourage people to be outgoing and enjoy social interaction, people modified their past generations' traditional life style so that they can fit propely in modern age and current social trends . For example, every day I have to go to the main city for my career and be inevitably accustomed to encountering many new people.
Finally , my generation prefer to wear a formal garment rather than put on half-naked clothes.
In the past , before the western colonization, man always wears only a short pant with naked- body and woman gets on clothes with bare shoulders. Due to the cultural alternation, it is impolite and unsuitable for people to wear traditional clothes and so they tend to choose an appropriate out fits for themselves to look civil infront of tourists from other countries .
To sum it up, although people are liable to get accustomed to their original culture, they cannot resist the current modern globalization trend that spreads across the world. As a result, new generation of my country has changed their life styles radically .
I made alot of changes , feel free to correct me .
you did great job , just do not use word " thing or things ". do not repeat the word "trend" that much .
I think your correction is better and i get a lot of good feedback from you.
I can adapt your writing style to mine.
The growing advancements , the upgrading technologies have changed human living pattern in a way unprecedented, but do all these things are bringing changes in the cultures , from my perspective ,yes , a tremendous change has followed after all these advancements and discoveries. But still the realities of life will remain the same for the ages to come.The feeling of love , altruism , care all will not vanish till mankind inhabits this earth.
In my opinion, the previous generation had some advantages that we do not have while they lacked in the things that make our life extremely convenient. One of the most basic thing is , earlier when no computers were there , the people used to go the government offices every now and then to deposit multi-utility bills, to make reservations etc . They were made to stand in the queue for hours. But since now every sector of the society is equipped with this extremely beneficial service, there is no more a need to go the offices in person to make reservations or to deposit bills In the same context , I also want to highlight about the facility of ATM that was not provided earlier by the banks and people used to take leave from work or from studies to go to the bank .
But on the other hand, the advancements made in the food technology has though made our life comfortable but had also compromised the quality of food that we eat today. In the past , most of the people were involved in the agriculture and all enjoyed the pure and natural food. There was no use of fertilizers or pesticides to grow crops, but now all these things have taken over the field of agriculture and thus hampered the food quality too.
Since the growth of industrialization is now unstoppable and people are forced to work more . They do not have time for their families and themselves. People do not have time to get involve in the recreational activities. But this was not the case with our previous generation. The working times were not so demanding and people were able to fulfill their personal commitments too after accomplishing their professional goals.
So though we enjoy more of the materialistic life ,they enjoyed a real life that comprised of joy , happiness , frolic,peace and freedom. Therefore , I feel such is life, you can not enjoy everything in this world. Somethings they got , some we got , that is how God tries to create balance in the nature.
your feedback is really different for mine and is very useful to my brainstorming process.
I think i have to learn how to produce detailed ideas from you.
Thank you so much...just do not restrict your ideas...let them follow..Thats what i have learned.Keep reading and writing, that is the only thing that can make you an adept.