one of my assignments asks me to write a narrative involving a central character of my own creation, who is interacting with a fictional place. I am to make a plot that satisfies -the following criteria (no need to write a story):
-the central character must enter the place
-there must be a reason for his or her entrance
-the character must observe the place before being involved in action within it
-the character must meet at least with one other person in the place
-the place must have some effect on the central character and the character must react in some way to that effect
-the interaction between the characters must be influenced by the conditions of the place
-staying or leaving the place must become an issue
-there must be a climax in which a decision to stay or leave is made acted on
the climatic decision must have an important effect on the central character's relationship with the other characters
-the central character must be changed by his or her experience in the place.
I need help on grammatical error, spellings, and perhaps some feedback on whether my plot correctly meets the criteria mentioned above. The following is my actual work for this assignment (thanks for your help):
Plot:
George Richman is a business man, who lives in Poor City which is a quite place, desolate, mixed with various social classes, and it's known to be a place of innocence where the lion lies with the sheep. Just recently he finds a new business opportunity in the newspaper at a city called Rich City for a company called Design Exchange. He is not very certain about the details of this business until he meets with Mr. Galloway at Rich City to explain to him the details of the business as he only knew from what was advertised in the newspaper, that it's some sort of design exchange business, where it involves the trade of rare items from all over the world. George Richman observes Rich City from his car as he drives to meet Mr. Galloway. The streets looked very crowded, noisy, Emergency vehicle siren could be heard more frequently than he is used to hear them at Poor City, the temperature is very high, the traffic is jammed, George is about to be late for his business meeting with Mr. Galloway, he gets irritated, gets out of his car and starts yelling at everyone to keep moving their cars; he reacted this way because he is not used to the city and may need to spend some more time in the city to get accustomed to it.
The fast movement of people and the hot temperature affects the interactions between the two characters as both George and Galloway talk faster, and the pace of the meeting goes faster. At night time, everything seemed to slow down, the streets are less crowded, and it's quieter, George meets Galloway again for a second meeting, and both of them talk to each other in a relaxed manner and the details of the business is much more comprehensible than that it was during the first meeting. George understood his job responsibility as he is to meet new clients and market the rare items they have in stock. Day after day George meets new people, improves his skills in selling rare items, and slowly he gets accustomed to the new place. George is expecting to get a raise, however his manager Galloway would be expecting more of George before he grants him any raise.
During one summer day, Rich City was glooming with beauty, the trees are fully grown, and everything is green, the breeze of air is so pleasant that it couldn't be forgotten, people on the street seemed to be more joyful, the pleasant atmosphere had a positive affect on George as he looked more splendid and handsome when he met Lisa at a coffee shop whom he falls in love with her. Lisa is a slim girl, very beautiful, and she is also a business woman, doing business in design exchange, it's similar to George's business however she was working for different company called Rare Designs. After few years George excels in business and becomes a vital worker for Design Exchange. Excelling in business affects George's relationship with Galloway as they become very close friends.
George encountered a series of unpleasant events such as being robbed by street organized gangs for several times, seeing people getting shot on the streets and in restaurants, hearing stories about men cheating on their wives and vice versa, observing people cheat in business, and seeing all types of corruptions has made the place become unbearable which made him for many times to think about leaving the place. After few years pass by, George's ex girl friend Alicia hears about his success, and she starts to send him correspondence requesting him to come back to Poor City and marry her during which time he finds a new business opportunity in doing car exchange business at Poor City that would be more profitable than working at Design Exchange, so it becomes a very critical decision to make whether to stay or leave the place. George likes Alicia more than he likes Lisa, and due to social class differences between him and Alicia he wasn't able to marry her at that time when he was living at Poor City, and now he is rich he could achieve his dreams however he may face objections from her parents but still he was willing to take the risk. Also the new business opportunity at Poor City is not guaranteed, and it may not be a successful business however he was determined to take the risk regardless. Leaving Rich City could ruin his relationship with Lisa; he didn't want to confess to her that he likes another woman because he also liked her too and didn't want to hurt her feelings. Also leaving the place could ruin his relationship with Galloway because he is considered to be a vital worker and Galloway wouldn't be able to run the business without him.
On a cold day, the streets jammed with traffic, the atmosphere seemed to be unpleasant, and George decides to confront Galloway and Lisa about leaving the place. When George informed Galloway about leaving the place, Galloway couldn't believe what he was hearing, got very upset, and he tried to make him stay by offering him a raise but for no avail, Galloway looses his temper and starts acting aggressively toward George by giving him mean looks and raising his voice, it seemed to be that they have lost this close friendship, they started to talk fast to each other, people appeared to be moving faster as they walked on the street, it was a similar scenario to when they first met and didn't know each other, and the relationship ended as George exit the Design Exchange building. When George confronts Lisa and confesses to her about his affair with another woman at Poor City, she gets upset as she felt betrayed for not being told about this affair when they first met, she started crying, she started to hate him, acted aggressively toward him by giving him mean looks, and ignoring him as if she didn't him from before, and it was her choice to leave him and not see him again. Rich City is a world of experience, and has taught George to become a better business person as upon returning to Poor City he was able to do better in business than he was before, his new business in car exchange turned to be successful, and he reunited with Alicia and have accomplished all his dreams.
During one summer day, Rich City was blooming with beauty. The trees are fully grown, everything is green, the breeze of air is so unforgettably pleasant, people on the street seemed to be joyful, and the pleasant atmosphere...
Other than that, I just want to mention that you should go through and try to make the tenses all consistent. Don't start a paragraph in the present verb tense and then switch to the past tense.
Good luck, cool story!!
