"Gifted people and talents" - IELTS - Cam7 test1 task2

Topic:

It's generally believe that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My essay:

In the present age, heated dispute has been going on in our country. Some argue that those gifted people are prone to be an excellent player or musician while others believe that everyone can make his or her dream comes true as long as through sufficient training. Emotionally, I tend to support the latter point of view. However, I think both of them have their own faults.

Admittedly, it is a fact that the talent is an objective existence and some people are born with it (maybe even more than one kind), which means they are gifted and good at certain subjects without effort, in another word, genius. However, that not means they are certain to be a superstar in those fields. One maybe the most essential reason is their talents are often neglected. In China, students are forced to attend to various extra classes of Mathematics and English, and have to do enormous homework additionally due to the university entrance examination, which is considered as the primary task for them. Therefore, there is no spare time or space for them to exploit their talents. Another reason is themselves' faults. Even though gifted, they may become normal eventually as they lose the focus and waste their time on the other things.

However, it is not true to attribute one's success to hard work totally. Undeniably, the effort plays a key role in one's success, especially in obtaining a technique, while it is not the insurance leading to succeed in some field like art and sport. For example, someone can never be as successful as Michael Jackson in pop music, and definitely not everyone can be another Liu Xiang as a sportsman, although he contributed his whole life to music or sport. In that case if one chooses an occupation improperly, the more practice could be unproductive and even a suffering to him, and he will be more far away from his success.

To conclude, I personally believe the success is combined by both talents and efforts, and only emphasizing one respect is not so objective.

Any feedback will be great! thx!

Your writing is so good that it's quite hard for me to find mistakes. Congratulations!You fulfilled the task well.You not only paraphrased the statement in given questions successfully but also made great points in your writing. However, you should pay more attention to some minor mistakes such as spelling mistakes and wordiness.

'One maybe the most essential reason is their talents are often neglected. In China, students are forced to attend to various extra classes of Mathematics and English, and have to do enormous homework additionally due to the university entrance examination, which is considered as the primary task for them'.=> Maybe one of the most essential reasons is that...

'Undeniably, the effort plays a key role in one's success, especially in obtaining a technique, while it is not the insurance leading to succeed in some field like art and sport.' while=>however

'themselves' faults'=>their own faults
'which means they are gifted and good at certain subjects without effort, in another word, genius.'=> in other words, they are genius.
your grade:7.5

dinh thi thu， thank u for ur comment letting me know what I should do next!

However, it does not mean that they are certain to be a superstar in those fields.


Therefore, there is no spare time or energy for them to exploit their talents.


Even though gifted, they may become average people eventually if they cannot concentrate on developing their talents and wasted their time on the other things.


In that case, if one chooses an occupation improperly,