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Girls did better than boys in almost all of the competency exams subjects, besides geography.


Meirama91 8 / 11 2  
May 17, 2016   #1
Hello fellas, i need your suggestion for my writing. thanks in advice :)

Question:
The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The represented chart provides the information about the subject that was completely done with the student as their high school competency exam during 2010 and 2011, compared by the sexes. In brief, girls achieved higher than boys in almost all of the subject, the only exception is geography subject.

Move to the detail, over than 40% of both gender pass the computer science, math, and foreign languages, such as French, german, and Spanish. There was a slightly different in foreign language and math for both group, less than one per cent. But, a significant gap for girl and boy student happen in computer science subject, 4.2% approximately.

In addition, as the result of the exam for physics, history and chemistry, it reveals that the female student more passes the subject other than male, In the other hand, in geography, more than 30% of males success the exam compare to girls who only get less than a quarter.




justivy03 - / 2,420 607  
May 18, 2016   #2
Hi Nurul, here's another take on your analysis.

- The represented chart providespresents the information
- completely done withby the
- compared by the sexesgender ( I believe this is a more appropriate word for this idea ) .
- In briefBriefly , girls achieved
- higher grades than boys
-with the only exception isof geography subject .

- MoveMoving to the details ,
- over than 40% of both gender
- There was a slightly differentis a slight difference in foreign
- than one percent. "percent" - is one word )
- ButHowever ( avoid using "but" in the beginning of your sentences ) ,
- a significant gap forof girl and boy
- subject,at 4.2% approximately.

- studentsmore passes the subject
- othermore than male,. ( you can close the sentence at this point and start a new one )
- InOn the other hand, in geography,
- more than 30% of males successsucceed in the exam
- compared to girls who only get less than a quarter.

There you have it Nurul, I hope you find the corrections helpful and useful in your revision.


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