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"Never, never give up" that translated as we should never stop pursuing our goals through hard work


pier 11 / 37 9  
Nov 12, 2017   #1
The expression "Never, never give up" means to keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

going after our goals continually



Our goals are what defines us through life. As a result, I agree with the statement "Never, never give up" that translated as we should never stop pursuing our goals through hard working. Working hard to reach our goal reveals our true identity as a hardworking person and how strong we are to reach our goals.

Showing passion and endurance in our journey to reach our goals identify us as a hard working person. As a result, we can be proud of ourselves. For example, an athlete who practices months or even years to win a one-time competition defines himself as the best athlete in his field. He can claim himself a winner and show us this feature in reality. Additionally, not being tired illustrates that we value our goals which is an acclaimed personality. Therefore, people will respect us more and consider us a reliable person.

At times, achieving a goal can be cumbersome. By trying hard and remaining on the track to reach our goals we can show how strong person we are. Researchers, for instance, spent many years to find out reasons behind some natural phenomenon. They do several field experiments and field observations until they could solve mysteries of life. Spending such a long time to understand reasons reveals that they are a strong person. Another good example would be Paralympic games athletes who despite their physical restrictions overcome their difficulties and stand on the winner's side in the competition.

In brief, going after our goals continually is one thing that I have been agreeing to it all my life. It not only shows our passion and value for our goals but proves what a strong person we are. This is a trait that every individual should acquire it.

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Please feel free to feedback on any aspect you think is helpful. Thank you all.

gzu2018 2 / 3  
Nov 12, 2017   #2
In the first paragraph, you used the term "hard-working" twice in succession. I suggest you reword the phrase to give the introduction more power.
Additionally, you used the words "working hard" three times in the first paragraph. Although it is the main topic of the essay, it shouldn't be repetitive.

The whole essay revolves around "us." Who is us? You and the reader? You and the whole world? Either clarify on that pronoun or get rid of it altogether and reword the essay in a more general frame. ex: "Showing passion and endurance in our journey to reaching our goals identifies us as a hard working person." -> "Passion and endurance generally show's the amplitude of one's determination." Its always better to go general instead of relating with the reader, unless you are specifically trying to emotionally influence the reader. Would you read an essay titled "how global warming affects our planet" or one that is titled "how global warming is detrimental to the planet." Which one is more credible?
Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Nov 12, 2017   #3
Behzab, are you writing this essay as a response to a direct question in the IELTS test? If you are, then your response is right on the mark. Your opening statement clearly defines what the succeeding discussions will be and your opinion is implied in an understandable manner within the essay. The full essay, if considered for the direct question response, works very well in terms of justifications. You have more than enough to explain your point of view. However, I find it redundant that you discuss athletes in the second paragraph and then repeat a similar discussion by indicating paralympics i the next paragraph. It would have been better to have just discussed one or the other instead of both in order to avoid repetitions of the discussion. Personally, I would have used the paralympics discussion more because that is more admirable and related to the never give up discussion. Your concluding statement could have used more work though. Remember, the direct question is scored on the same criteria as the other task essays so you have to deliver the same requirements in this essay as well.

Now, the observation I gave you has to do with the direct response part of the test. If this is for a Task 2 essay, please provide the complete prompt because the review for the Task 2 test is different from the direct response considerations.
OP pier 11 / 37 9  
Nov 12, 2017   #4
Dear @Holt, thanks a lot for the feedback. I'm writing for IBT task 2 and the prompt is from the ETS official topic list. I thought it is clear from prompt itself, I will mention it from now on.
ChannelBlonde 1 / 2  
Nov 12, 2017   #5
You have a great use of vocabulary.


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