Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The given diagram illustrates the complex procedures required to produce liquid chocolate

HelenN 5 / 6 3  
Jun 18, 2021   #1
The diagram shows how chocolate is produced - ielts 1

The given diagram illustrates the complex procedures required to produce liquid chocolate.

Overall, the chocolate-producing process involves ten different steps, starting from harvesting the pods and ending with the grinding process. Tropical evergreen cocoa trees mostly grow in the wet lowland tropics of South America, Africa and Southeast Asia such as Indonesia. Once ripe and red, the pods are harvested manually by utilizing the farming blades. The farmers collect the white beans from the pods to begin the fermentation process. During this period, the white cocoa beans turn brown. The brown beans are heated and dried under the sun before carefully sealed and packaged into sacks. They are dispatched to the manufacturer by either lorries or trains, ready for mass production.

In the chocolate-manufacturing factory, cocoa beans undergo three processes of roasting, winnowing, and grinding. First, the beans are roasted under 350 degrees to enhance the colour and flavour. This process also makes the outer shells brittle, augmented the winnowing process when the inner cocoa meat is separated from the shell to be crushed and refined. Finally, the fine cocoa nibs are pressed by the grinding machine to produce liquid chocolate.

Message: It would be helpful if you can give me an estimated score if this were an IELTS test. I am going to take the exam in July. Thank you!

  • The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,673 4113  
Jun 19, 2021   #2
The writer must be more familiar with the image types. While the prompt provides a clue to the type of image, the student must fulfill the accurate image identification requirement in the writing. The image provided is an illustrative diagram.

The trending identifier was accidentally blended into the descriptive paragraph in the second wiling part. That first sentence should have been merged into the summary instead. By adding the trend in the second paragraph, the target discussion of the presentation became blurred to the reader.

The procedural references, per paragraph do the job. The vocabulary is properly used and sentences are properly written for the most part. The reader can easily imagine the actual chocolate or cocoa making process. There are few errors in the presentation.

* Contact me privately for scoring services.
OP HelenN 5 / 6 3  
Jun 19, 2021   #3
Thank you for your feedback

Home / Writing Feedback / The given diagram illustrates the complex procedures required to produce liquid chocolate