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From the given line graph: how much chicken, beef, lamb and fish were consumed, by grams per person

LadyOfClockwork 30 / 101  
Sep 19, 2020   #1
IELTS Task 1: The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph given demonstrates how much chicken, beef, lamb and fish were consumed, as measured by grams per person per week, in an unnamed European nation from 1979 to 2004. Overall, chicken gained popularity while beef and lamb lost favor during the period. There was little change in the intake of fish, which was the least consumed food all the time.

Beef well exceeded any other food listed in consumption at more than 200 grams per person per week in 1979, but the figure was in decline throughout most of the period, despite hovering at a high of approximately 225 grams per person per week in the 1980s. As a result, the average person in the European country only ate slightly more than 100 grams beef each week in 2004. A similar downward spiral was seen in lamb, whose consumption was just modestly above 50 grams per person per week in 2004, a dramatic decrease from 150 grams in 1979.

By comparison, the consumption of chicken was in an upswing and overtook that of lamb soon after 1979 and that of beef around 1989, making it the most consumed food ever since. In 2004, people in the country took in about 250 grams fish every week on average, well above around 150 grams in 1979. With regard to fish, its consumption always stayed at about 50 grams.

I have a specific question: is it correct to write "...decrease from 150 grams" instead of "decrease from 150 grams per person per week" in the last sentece of the second paraphrase?

tuanhntta2020 4 / 9 1  
Sep 19, 2020   #2
Hello there!!! After reading your essay, I have some suggestions for you so that you can improve your essay next time.
First, the phrase " any other food listed in consumption" confused me and I think "consumption" was the wrongly-used word. You need to fix this phrase.

Next, the sentence "A similar downward spiral was ..." had some grammar mistakes, leading to the confusion of the sentence.

I really hope my comment will help you in some ways!!!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15048 4830  
Sep 20, 2020   #3
You can approach that presentation two ways. It is kind of redundant to say per person, per week twice in the same essay. So you can show your advanced grammar skills by saying 200 grams each person / a week or, you can merely say "each person consumed 200 grams on weekly average", or other synonym forms that can indicate the same person and weekly measurement status. You don't have to use the same terms each time. Consider your LR score. It will be increased if you can show that you are capable of using other reference forms for the same phrase within the essay. Depending upon how advanced your English vocabulary is, you may be able to increase both your LR and GRA score based on sentence references alone.
OP LadyOfClockwork 30 / 101  
Sep 20, 2020   #4
Glad to hear your advice. Thanks. I will improve my writing accordingly.

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