Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width NEW!

IELTS-Given possible reasons for the loose of relationship between the family members

hchom 1 / -  
Aug 15, 2012   #1
Question:It is generally acknowledged that families are not as close as they used to do. Give possible reasons and your recommdation.

The family is the fundamental element of the society in any country of the world. It contribute much more to the development of the society, however, the tie between the family members has became less tight than before. I think there are two major reasons contributing to such tendency.

Firstly, the fast-paced tempo of modern life alienates the individual from their family members. as the advance of our society, people pay much more energy on their work in order to achieve the ever-growing targets in their life and never have enough time to spend on the communication with their family members, the more important role one play in his/her work , the less time one can give for his/her family. Most people always think that the family can easily put aside in comparison with the work.

Secondly, people become more and more independence than before in modern society. One hundred year ago, in china, it is hardly for the individuals to have their own business without the help of the family members. All the famous enterprises are established and developed based on the family, however, the modern society encourage the people to make their own bright future by themselves. The society provide the more fairly and equally opportunity to anyone. Therefore, the individuals tend to be more independent and can easily get success with their own effort.

As discussion above, I think the government should take feasible measures to raise awareness in public about the importance of the family. And the individuals should also realize that as a family member, it is also important to give a strong support to the career of their family members.

Please submit your feedback on essay structure and grammatical errors.
Any comments most welcomed!!
Thanks for reading!!!

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS-Given possible reasons for the loose of relationship between the family members