The given table provides the percentage of the monthly average expenditure from family budget

Topic: The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment.

My sample answer:

The given table provides data on the percentage of the monthly average expenditure from family budget for four categories of products and services in five European countries.

Overall, it can be seen that the largest proportion of monthly income is spent on food/drink and housing, while the clothing and entertainment categories have the lowest percentages in the table.

It is noticable that income spending on food and drink is higher in Turkey, at 36% and Ireland, at just over 30%. Whereas the proportion of income expenditure on housing is significantly higher in the UK, Germany and France at 37%, 33% and 31% respectively.

According to the table, Germany has the highest expenditure on clothing and entertainment at 15% and just under 20% respectively. By contrast, the figure for clothing is the lowest in France at 7% and the lowest figure for entertainment is represented by Turkey, at 10%. It is interesting that the proportion of income spending on both clothing and entertainment in the Uk is equal, at 11%.

* I would be greatful if you could give me a sample ielts band and some tips how to improve my writing.
Thank you in advance.

• 
  
  

I can help assist you with your analysis. A minor error you can fix is to add "a" before family budget. The second sentence is a really good observation of the table.

The next sentence, you should change the spelling of this word to "noticeable". Also, you mention Turkey and then Ireland. However, Ireland is not represented. Did you really mean Spain? I see that Spain has over 30% in the food and drink category. I would change the term whereas to, "However", to begin the next sentence. Place a comma before the term respectively in your essay.

There is a good attempt to use a transition word but I would suggest changing "By contrast" to "In contrast". There is a minor error. In the last sentence, the UK has one one uppercase and lowercase letter. Change the "k" to an uppercase letter.

In order to improve your writing work on learning transition words: By contrast should have been "In contrast". A better term was to use "However" rather than whereas. Also, continue to use commas and learn new vocabulary words.