Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Giving more balanced lives with a reasonable amount of leisure time is best for children


abangabul93 15 / 27  
Nov 3, 2016   #1
In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays, education tends to be a pivotal key to get better life. Some teenagers are pushed to study hard either at school or home which kills most of their leisure time. Therefore, I believe there are some viable solutions to overcome this problem.

I would argue that there are two main problems which cause young people find themselves with little leisure activities. Firstly, parental influence shapes his or her children's career in the future. This is because every parents wants to see their children to have high performance on their academic which can help them getting a successful career. This means that parents will exert pressure on their children to spend more time for studying. For instance, many students in my country, take a lot of additional private schools after attending their study at state school. Secondly, the higher educational system will be another cause as many young people compete to get higher education in prestigious universities. Every year, there are a lot of entrance exams to enter universities in Indonesia where many teenagers should have a competitive cognitive to obtain their universities. As a result, those problems contribute to give much pressure on teenagers since they should spend their leisure time to work hard in their studies.

To tackle those problems, parents, schools, and government should take their own role and work together. Parents should give more their time to create intensive communication with their children in order to know what children need. Moreover, schools should inform that giving high pressure on children can lead to depression, anxiety, and stress. By doing this, parents will know the effect of the pressure they put on their children. On the other hand, the government should invest to build more universities with high quality, so teenagers have high chance entering the universities.

In conclusion, all stakeholders should know that giving much pressure on children will increase their level of stress which can cause their health hampered. So, giving more balanced lives with a reasonable amount of leisure time is the best way to improve children's potential. (344 words)
FELIOLUWATOBI 3 / 1  
Nov 3, 2016   #2
Your essay is nice. Students now go through strenuous class activities, their little leisure time should be used for profitable study and relaxation, therefore parents should help their children by not putting pressure on them.


Home / Writing Feedback / Giving more balanced lives with a reasonable amount of leisure time is best for children
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳