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'giving international aid to poor countries' - IELTS


swami12345 1 / 1  
Dec 18, 2011   #1
Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of giving international aid to poor countries.

One part of the world population has moved very fast in the recent times with respect to education, infrastructure and other developments, while there exist few poor nations struggling to keep up development and compete with talents around the world, due to globalization. Can the donation or aid from other nations help them ?. It does have some benefits, though there exists some disadvantages too.

First of all, For a poor nation, raising own fund for any projects either in education or infrastructure will create more strain on the other essential sectors like health and food security. They lack either proper planning or funding which when secured from international donors will definitely put them in developmental path soon.

Second of all, the world cannot sustain with greater inequalities between the rich and the poor for too long. The more the inequality, there is a high chance for tensions between nations, Hence international aid from richer nations would reduce the inequality and hence the possible tensions between the nations.

Thirdly, the expertise for executing any developmental plan require good amount of international aid, primarily in areas of education and infrastructure. This will develop the social sectors of poor nations.

The international aid to Japan after World War II, gave very fast progress to the nation as a whole and with the amount of energy devoted by Japanese, they attained the status of World's second largest economy within 40 years.

In spite of all the above mentioned advantages and instances, there exist doubt on the how the international aid is being used by different receiving nations. Its essential that the amount is spent in developmental activities and definitely not into arms purchase or military expenditure.

There are some cases like international aid had not really achieved its purpose, due to internal tensions and unstable government agencies in poor nations, thus questioning on the very purpose of international aid.

To sum up, international aid will surely put the poor nations in a definite growth path, if political and internal stability is maintained.
tehfunkicookie 19 / 50  
Dec 18, 2011   #2
I think it's a reasonable essay. I suggest you think it over a bit and rewrite the whole thing (but with the same reasons) because to me, it seems like you just came up with reasons, wrote it down, and concluded your essay. Your conclusion is horrendous because not only does it give a one sentence answer (which makes your standpoint very weak) but also lacks the appropriate writing techniques. Generally, when they ask you disadvantage or advantage, you usually sum it up in 2 paragraphs or more.

But in your essay, you barely have a paragraph written for each of your reasons.
Your reasons are good, but your overall essay is not as well as it could be.
Good Luck!
Sorry for being very harsh, but i'm trying to help =)
OP swami12345 1 / 1  
Dec 18, 2011   #3
Hi,

thanks for your suggestions will improve it soon. thanks again, for your time.

Regards
Swa
super57 6 / 23  
Dec 18, 2011   #4
IELTS look for people who can share ther personal anecdotes. If you want to score good bands try sharing your personal experiences in everything you can find and your observations. Hope this would help.
princedynasty 15 / 57 4  
Dec 21, 2011   #5
you should avoid repeating the structure "there exist".
maybe putting all the benefits into one paragraph and considering more thoroughly the disadvantages are more effective.
:D


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