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IELTS 1; Global sales of games software, Ds and Video or DVD


Purwati Ayu 7 / 14 2  
Feb 19, 2014   #1
  Global sales of games software, Ds and Video or DVD
  
  The bar chart informs about games software, CDs and Video or DVD global transaction between 2000 and 2003, provided in billion dollar.
  Each matter had difference total sales. Games software always placed the lowest rank. In middle global transaction position there were DVD or video. Also CDs as the highest level sale contributed much money per years.

  Since 2000, global sale of games software flattened out until 2003. It approximately rose 1-3 billions dollar per years. However the income is never higher than 20 billions dollar, just rising from just over 10 to nearly 20 billions dollar.

   The movement of DVD or video transaction was better than games software. The sale increase significantly without any drops. In 2000, the revenue was almost 20 billions dollar so grew in 2001 and 2002 above 20 billions dollar then roughly touched the best achievement 30 billions dollar in 2003.

  Conversely, CDs global sale was almost stabile in number just over 30 billions dollar. However CDs got the highest revenue than others. and the chart proves that CDs was the most favourite matter for four years.




eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Feb 19, 2014   #2
20 billions dollar

30 billions dollar

I was in the previous thread presenting minor details for "thousand". Here do I search from internet. Hopefully, this will help you.
a/one thousand miles
five thousand dollars.
30 thousand people.
thousands of things.
the thousandth anniversary
OP Purwati Ayu 7 / 14 2  
Feb 19, 2014   #3
thank for giving references Mr. eddy. those will help me in my next essays. are we allowed to list many number in task I.?
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Feb 20, 2014   #4
However, the income is was never higher than 20 billions dollar, just rising from just over 10 to nearly 20 billions dollar.

The sale increase inclined significantly without any drops.

are we allowed to list many number in task I.?

I think that is possible to mention number in the writing task 1, but i suggest you to avoid the listing paragraph which is adopted in your essay.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 20, 2014   #5
The bar chart informs about games software, CDs and Video or DVD global transaction between 2000 and 2003, provided in billion dollar.

The bar chart provides information about sales of games software, CDs and Video or DVD from the year 2000 to 2003.

 Each matter had difference total sales. Games software always placed the lowest rank. In middle global transaction position there were DVD or video. Also CDs as the highest level sale contributed much money per years.

The first sentence is a too obvious one and therefore I feel you should have not included that in your introduction. You need to re-do this overview section as it is not very well presented in this essay. First pick the most obvious observations and present them briefly without any details.


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