IELTS - Globalisation and its effect on world's economy

Topic : Even though Globalisation affects the world's economics in a very positive way, its negative sides should not be forgotten, discuss. (250 Words)

What do you think of this essay (368 words) ?

Thank you in advance.

For the past decade, fast changes have occurred in technology and communication and have lead to a more integrated world, where an event in one country is more likely to have short term consequences in other countries. As such events have become more complex and intertwined with each other, they can quickly affect people in their everyday lives. Although it is believed that Globalisation has brought many benefits to the world's economy, people should stay careful and not forget its drawbacks. This will be proved by analysing how Globalisation has provided people with a great variety of products, and then by examining what harsh effects it has had on certain job markets.

Firstly, today's customers are able to find a huge choice of competitive products at a reasonable price. For example, department stores sell exotic fruits throughout the year, like pineapples, mangos and lemons, making it possible to prepare funny recipes even in the heart of cold winters. This example makes it clear that the improvements seen in transport as well as the involvement of many countries harvesting in turn explain the great variety of food people can have access to. As a consequence, Globalisation has had positive effects by increasing the range of available products for customers.

However, some countries have seen a dramatic increase in their unemployment rates. For instance, large companies, looking to become more competitive, stopped their production in Western developed countries so that they should be able to hire a cheaper workforce in China or India. This demonstrates why many old industrial countries in both Europe and North America are now struggling to stabilise the rising number of jobless people. After analysing these facts, it becomes understandable that Globalisation may have some negative effects on the economy.

In conclusion, not only has Globalisation brought advantages to customers by providing a large range of imported products, but has also had harsh effects by destroying existing jobs in certain countries. In my opinion, the benefits for customers strongly outweigh the negative effects on the job markets. Governments should use innovation and research to successfully answer to industrial job losses, as well as maintaining a basic welfare system to help guiding people towards more qualified jobs.

Hello pierre11,

great essay!

I have some minor remarks, see if you can agree with them


You might put a full stop and split it into two sentences.


instead of stay might fit better.


Maybe you can write in 1st person perspective. "I'd like to prove this.."


I'd rather go for "delicious/tasty/palatable/various dishes".


Do you think the tense is correct here? Have the positive effects ended? I am not very firm of grammar but it feel like present tense here. The prompt is also written in present tense, this might be a hint.


"to encounter the rising of unemployment".


I'd like to hear a second opinion or reference (link?) for this inversion. It seems to me that a plain "Globalisation has not only brought advantage.." is not only better style but also the only possible way. What do you think?

I assume you wrote this in a fixed time frame (how much was it? 30 minutes?) and I think your essay is really great, I'd rate it at least 95%.