In the globalisation era, children are pushed to be ready for their future live, and this reason causes more pressure for students from academics, social, and also trade perspective. In my view, the main problem of this pressure is that youths should prepare their self to survive in their future live and giving suggestion that it can be solved easily by children is the best way for reducing pressure In young generations perspective.
First of all, in the modern era, the human needs always grow by the time, and people are pushed to be more ready for all changing in their future life. furthermore, children are the first people that should prepare about it. Hutama from Nancy university say that 20 years later, this world will be totally different from right now. If young generation do not prepare it, they cannot survive in that time. this reason put the youths in the pressure circumstance from economy, academic, and also social perspective.
On the other hand, this pressure can be reduced if students enjoy when prepare it. Syukon from Uppsala university say that if people do something that they love, they do not get pressure even just a little. Thanks to this statement, reducing this pressure in students can be solved by giving suggestion that they can prepare it for their future live, and it is their necessity. Moreover, children should be given motivation about that and also inspiration from previous people.
All in all, pressuring children from academics, social and economic perspective is caused by children needs for their future life. suggestion that they can prepare it easily is the best ways to reduce the pressure about it.
Hi @Pramudia27!
From my perspective , this essay could be seen as well-constructed example for aformentioned topic.However , you should write the underlying topic first so as to facilitate us to judge .If you want to raise your band , more academic vocabularies should be used ,diverse sources of grammar.
Hutama from Nancy university say ...
Syukon from Uppsala university say ...e -> No personal example in task 2 essay , use more popular role models
Hello pram
The reason for the score is that you were not able to properly respond to the prompt. You presented enough of the reasons but you did not offer any expanded explanation regarding possible solutions for reducing pressure In young generations perspective. Coherence and cohesion will most likely fall under a 5 owing to the way that you have some logic to your presentation but sometimes, there is a lack of development in your discussion.
your word choices do not help to develop the sentence and instead serves to confuse the reader instead. Your grammar and sentence structure problems causes some strain on the part of the reader when it comes to trying to understand what you have to say.
