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IELTS: Globalization has both advantages (economy) and disadvantages (diseases)

Tinathanh 5 / 13  
Jul 2, 2020   #1

Globalization has both advantages and disadvantages.

Discuss both and give your opinion.

In the society with advanced technology, the world becomes closer and globalization brings many benefits in the economy and other fields, but also some drawbacks. In my opinion, I believe globalization has its own disadvantages besides its advantages, but globalization is the key to developing the international economy and improving the quality of life for people worldwide.

One economic benefit to having globalization is that it would give more opportunities for trading. Free trade makes the world smaller, which means there are more exchanging goods between countries. In other words, the global market will be more flourishing and competitive, which is beneficial for the customers to have lower costs of products. Another advantage is that there is the spread of technology and innovation which is a good chance for local companies to access brand new technology from all over the world, so there are more job opportunities.

On the other hand, there are some obvious disadvantages from globalization. Firstly, in an open market today, people are easily vulnerable to infectious diseases that can affect numerous people in a short time. Secondly, growing society based on globalization negatively impacts the environment when people destroy forests because of the need for more spaces for manufacturing and housing. Transport systems and goods production lead to air and water pollution. Lastly, the job market will be more competitive that may cause losing local jobs and more people will be unemployed if they stop learning and catching up with the world.

In conclusion, globalization has both its benefits and challenges in the long run. Except from the drawbacks of globalization, I think globalization is a necessary step for international economic development and better life quality for people.

Waterloop 6 / 17  
Jul 2, 2020   #2
Be careful with articles, society does not have "the"

You may say Globalisation is a double sword in terms of economy and society.
"On the other hand" should come along with "On one hand" You should not use either of it alone
We usually say vulnerable to infectious disease is enough, you dont have to add easily

Overall, the ideas are fine but you the linkage of ideas is not enough. Be careful with your grammer!
Good luck :)
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,723 3064  
Jul 2, 2020   #3
There is something incorrect about the prompt you presented. A comparative or advantage disadvantage essay is never paired with a personal opinion presentation. The personal opinion is, by regular standards, always part of a public opinion comparative discussion of 2 separate points of view. I do not believe that this is the correct prompt for this essay. You created your own prompt, which is not in accordance with the regular IELTS essay requirements. Do not create your own prompts for this task, you should only be using the proper and advised practice prompts.

Based on this discussion instruction though, I can tell you that you are not supposed to give an opinion within the prompt restatement. The opinion is not given in that portion because the personal point of view is based on the strength of your belief in the reasoning of the comparative discussion. As such, you first need to discuss both the advantage and disadvantage, creating a personal opinion as a 3rd to the last paragraph. Your presentation comes across as a generalized discussion that does not have a personal point of view presented. This is due to the lack of 1st person pronoun usage throughout the essay. Discuss both views should have had group pronoun usage of the 2nd reference kind to show the differences in discussion presentations of the advantage and disadvantage before your personal point of view.
OP Tinathanh 5 / 13  
Jul 5, 2020   #4

Thank you for your feedback!

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