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[IELTS WRITING TASK 2] IS GLOBALIZATION A MAJOR PROBLEM THESE DAYS?


nicole_jp 1 / -  
Jun 20, 2021   #1
I am going to take an IELTS test next three months, so that I am nervous of getting bad grade. I hope that everyone will point out my mistakes and give me a precise band. Thanks a million.

My topic is:

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN COUNTRIES BECOME LESS EVIDENT EACH YEAR. NOWADAYS, ALL OVER THE WORLD PEOPLE SHARE THE SAME FASHIONS, ADVERTISING, BRANDS, EATING HABITS AND TV CHANNELS.

DO THE DISADVANTAGES OF THIS TREND OUTWEIGH THE ADVANTAGES?



As the proverb goes, "Every coin has its two sides". Globalization is no exception. Many countries throughout the world are sharing similar patterns in their own culture. Despite having some benefits, I still consider this trend more negative.

On the one hand, shortened global distance has created many advantages. In the Fashion Industry, traditional culture firm several states provides variety of ideas and materials to make clothes. People are tend to share their styles, which diversifies the fashion around the world. Additionally, business is becoming increasingly international. It creates opportunities for employment and make huge profit. Besides, people over the world become closer. They would communicate with each other more easily despite having different languages, be no more challenging to travel and gain chances to approach to knowledge from other countries.

On the contrary, I advocate that drawbacks of globalization becomes more serious. Public is likely to use clothes that are trendy and from the luxurious brands. This habit makes them lose the connection to traditional costumes. Additionally, many people do not really have knowledge about the real products, which cheats them pay a lot of money for fake stock. Besides, the development of ways to communicate over the world leads to the shortage of direct spoken. People seem talking face to face unnecessary due to misusing technological gadgets. Lastly, the biggest problem is unemployment and exploitation. Because companies tend to move to developing countries where labor is cheap. This creates redundancies and job losses, which are major issues these days.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the drawbacks of shortening global gap do outweigh the benefits.
(268 words)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,263 3976  
Jun 21, 2021   #2
If you become familiar with the response writing patterns per discussion style, you should be able to get a good grade. Just remember that there are 2 different writing standards for Task 2 essays.

Comparative writing prompts :

- Discuss both views and give an opinion
- compare and contrast
- Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Those are the only prompts that require 2 comparison paragraphs.

All other prompts:

- Agree or Disagree
- To what extent do you agree or disagree
- Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
- What is your opinion

Are all single opinion reasoning explanations, essays, discussions. A single opinion is the point of view of a writer that must have 2 strong supporting reason paragraphs. This is because you are asked to explain the validity of your opinion using explanations and related examples.

The clarity of the opinion is one of the most important scoring considerations. It is so important in fact, that you are individually scored on how clearly discussed your opinion is The minute you decide on an . work on that sole defense alone so as not to be scored as having conflicting or unclear opinion presentations. You accidentally opposed your opinion in this writing due to the comparative format used. The writing instruction for this essay falls under the single opinion defense task.

Try to avoid using Chinese proverbs in you writing. This does not help show your ability to restate the prompt. In fact, your rewrite failed to include a reference to the following specific aspects in the paraphrasing + opinion paragraph:

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN COUNTRIES BECOME LESS EVIDENT EACH YEAR.

PEOPLE SHARE THE SAME FASHIONS, ADVERTISING, BRANDS, EATING HABITS AND TV CHANNELS.

The reference to culture in your version is not a correct choice of word because the similarities are in the lifestyle as per the original discussion reasoning.

Based on my observations of your work, I believe the total band score for your essay need not be mentioned. It is evident and self- explanatory. I hope my explanation cleared things up you you in regard to response styles. I look forward to seeing improvement in your next writing task.
Paul16 5 / 8  
Jun 21, 2021   #3
In this essay, you are opposing your own opinion with one paragraph about the advantages and one about the disadvantages.
This prompt requires using a single opinion.

Besides, you should avoid proverbs like "Every coin has its two sides", it does not raise your scores.
HelenN 5 / 10 3  
Jun 25, 2021   #4
@nicole
I think I see your writing before.

Instead of using proverb, you can simply write a general statement and then paraphrase the question.
As the proverb goes, "Every coin has its two sides". Globalization is no exception.
-> I guess this what you are trying to say globalization has both advantages and disadvantages?

People are tend to ...
Besides, people over the world become closer more interconnected - try to use more collocation to demonstrate your lexical resource.

... drawbacks of globalization becomes have become - try to vary your grammar more serious.


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