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( IELTS essay) Globalization:Negative sides should not be forgotten.


joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 21, 2013   #1
Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Globalization is changing all aspects of people around the globe considerably. While I am accepting its numerous positive impacts, its disadvantages are not totally negligible.

Undeniably, globalization brings nations together. Internet and e- commerce have made the end of time and space. Presently, anybody can exchange his or her culture and ideas with anybody at anytime anywhere, if within the circle of internet. Multinational companies offers more job opportunities, better products and services and boost the performance of local companies through competition. Due to business outsourcing a large number of skilled professionals especially, in IT field are enjoying high salary staying in their own countries. People can study, settle anywhere, they desire by following the rules of that country. Culture and language became similar and the world is shrinked in to a global village. For instance, we can see our youngsters are wearing Nike T-shirts and Addidas shoes, listening hip-hop music in their ipods and eat at K.F.C.

Nevertheless, we cannot keep a blind eye on its negative impacts on population. Due to business outsourcing local unemployment flourishes, this is recently happened in America. Multi-national companies destroyed the local market. Since the world became uniform in culture and language small languages and local cultures are diminished. Furthermore, the internet and social networking services like facebook and twitter, trim down the face-to-face communication. Developmental processes bring pollution, wastage and environmental damage with them. People, particularly, young generation is more attached to Western culture, fast foods and neglect their own culture and traditions. Besides, too much information from the internet make people more confused.

To conclude, though globalization is gaining ground all around the world, it is like a double-edged knife, which is having both pros and cons. We should be wise to choose the best out of it.

Is it better to discuss the both sides, pros and cons or discuss the given statement, ie, negative only, as it is not clearly mentioned to discuss both sides. THANKS IN ADVANCE.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 21, 2013   #2
Globalization is changing all aspects of people around the globe considerably. While I am accepting its numerous positive impacts, its disadvantages are not totally negligible.

I guess this is your introduction. As a small tip, I'd like to suggest you to leave one blank line between paras so that it looks a nice and tidy essay. Otherwise they cramp up together and won't make your examiner happy about it ;)

Presently, anybody can exchange his or her culture and ideas with anybodyanother at anytime anywhere

....word "anybody" is getting repeated.

Multinational companies offers more job opportunities

... hey.... be careful with grammar ;)
Multinational companies offer/ Multinational company offers :)
devabe2005 46 / 97  
Jan 22, 2013   #3
anybody at anytime anywhere --> i think "any" is repeating it will better go for other vocabulary like --> anybody at anytime around the world

fast foods and neglect their own culture and traditions. --> "fast foods" you didn't mention briefly just given the name it will be better if you elaborate the fast foods --> eating at fast foods, trying different food at fast food or eating junk food at fast-food restaurants .
sanaqvi 6 / 12  
Jan 24, 2013   #4
Multi-national

Multinational

trim down

I think reduces is better word
OP joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 24, 2013   #5
Hai..Dumi, dev and Sayed..

Hai Dumi..
Thanks for your comments and time especially for the tip...):

Thanks dev for your correction..

Hai sayed..
Trim down is other word of reduce, my policy of writing is to use synonims as much as posible to reduce repetation of words and it will give a different look to essays...):

Thanks for the comments

Tessy


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