Unanswered [6] | Urgent [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

GMAT AWA ; Common notion, workers are genreally apathetic about mgmt issues is false


abhradeephaldar 1 / -  
Mar 13, 2013   #1
'The common notion that workers are generally apathetic about management issues is false, or at least outdated: a recently published survey indicates that 79% of the nearly 1200 workers who responded to survey questionnaires expressed a high level of interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs'

Discuss how well reasoned.


The editor claims that the notion that workers are disinterested about management activities is not true. In fact, he gives us an example to show that it is quite the opposite. In part I agree with him. However some of the finer points need to be looked at before we can agree with the editor.

As the author has stated that in a polish survey, of the 1200 participants, 79% were interested in topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefit programs. Broadly speaking this is true. Most big organizations generally have some form of employee feedback program through which they ask their worker about organizational reforms. These programs generally get very strong feedbacks. Some even take the opportunity of corporate events like seminars or marathons to let their corporate leaders know what they feel. These clearly indicate that the workers do infact want to be a part of the management decisions.

The management too, in their part tries to include the workers in their decision processes. For example, when one of the refineries of the global aluminium giant ALCOA (Aluminium Corporation of America), started losing money in 2011, the regional CEO, actually created a forum and asked for all the workers opinion on how to keep the refinery afloat. It was an earnest plea, which made many of the workers propose radical solutions and make serious sacrifices.

In most cases, in fact the worker's interest towards management decisions only strengthens as they move up the hierarchy. They look for ways to improve the business processes, even if it's only in a very small way, so that newer recruits do not face the same problems which they have faced. Contrary to what people may think, most workers feel that they are part of an organizational family and it is their responsibility to do whatever they can for their organization.

However, one may not always agree with these above reasons. Sometimes, the workers do feel apathetic towards management decisions. But more often than not these will be cases when there are some serious grievances towards management. And if the managements were to have serious discussions with these grieved employees and redress their issues, then these scenarios can be very easily resolved. It is the management's responsibility as well to not allow their workers to be apathetic towards their own decisions.

I therefore conclude that, a good management will in all probability make the workers seriously interested in their corporate decisions. While it is true that all decisions cannot be taken in consultation with workers, it it's important to not assume that since the workers are not part of the process, they are apathetic about the end results. I can with all my heart endorse this conclusion as I too am working for an MNC.

PArachel 1 / 8 2  
Mar 13, 2013   #2
Hi very good so far!
You have a few grammar errors - reread it to catch them.
Some even take the opportunity of corporate events like seminars or marathons to let their corporate leaders know what they feel. --> clarify who "some" is

The management too, in their part, tries to include the workers in their decision processes --> reword this transition sentence
In most cases, in fact the worker's interest toward --> chose either in most cases or in fact, dont have both. Or reword to In fact, in most cases...

"problems, which they have faced" or change to "problems that they have faced"
these above reasons
But more often than not, these
And if the managements were to have serious discu.. --> reword this, don't start with and
I therefore conclude, that --> no comma

Overall good. The content is fine. You have a stable argument with good examples. Just fix a few things listed above and it should be great!
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 13, 2013   #3
i agree with rachel... that was good on the whole... nicely narrated.... without any sugarcoating of words :)
admission2012 - / 481 90  
Mar 13, 2013   #4
Hello,

Several issues here. First of all, way too many grammatical issues here to get a top score AWA score. Secondly, you both agree and disagree with the assertion in this essay. In your second to last paragraph you state "Sometimes, the workers do feel apathetic towards management decisions." which contradicts your first statement that workers are not apathetic. When writing your responses you should pick one stance and stick with it throughout the entire essay. There is no room for standing on the fence on an issue/topic. Lastly, practicing for this section of the GMAT is almost a complete waste of time as it is rarely ever taken into consideration. Focus the bulk of your time on the other sections of the GMAT as they hold all the weight. -AAO


Home / Writing Feedback / GMAT AWA ; Common notion, workers are genreally apathetic about mgmt issues is false