'The goal isn't to live forever' - Toefl Essay

Hi,
I need someone to check & correct my toefl essay, please.
It's about a recent news story that had effected me in some way.

Saturday, 16 June was the death of the second crown heir Prince Nayef Bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud. His death
has affected the people as much as its impact in the kingdom.
Prince Nayef Bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud was one of the greatest men that The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has ever had.
He loved the people and cared about them a lot. He was strict, but kind at the same time. He had a great power and God

knows he never used it unfairly. Shortly he ruled the kingdom by the laws of God, and losing a man with such a high morals

was certainly a tragedy to me and to the people, but also an incentive to continue on the path of his majesty.
Chuck Palahniuk once said " We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, but to create something that will".
Prince Nayef Bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud did.

well.... for TOEFL they expect at least 250 words for the independent writing task.

Best way is to read a few toefl essays in these forum threads. Then you get an idea.:)

Thanx a lot for your help, I'll work on that

His death has affected the people as much as its impact will affect the kingdom.

Prince Nayef Bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud was one of the greatest men that The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has ever known .

He had a great power, and God knows he never used it unfairly.

In short, he ruled the kingdom by the laws of God, and losing a man with such a high morals was certainly...

Prince Nayef Bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud certainly did just that. ---I just added a couple more words to add drama.

:)