Hello. I'll help you with your style.
However, it is about how you go about achieving that goal that matters.Try not to start sentences with "however." Here's an alternative way to write that sentence:
However, it is about howHow
you go about achieving that goal is what really
Women all over the world fawn over super models and their amazing bodies praying even that they can attain a similar look."Supermodels" should be one word. There should be a comma after "bodies." You don't need "even." Let me show you:
Women all over the world fawn over
and their amazing bodies,
that they can attain a similar look.
Setting a goal to have a certain body type is good because it gives you motivation to workout and eat healthy, which we all should do. However, when this goal becomes obsessive and you begin to starve yourself because the weight is not coming off that is never justifiable."Work out" should be two words. I'm going to show you how to combine these two sentences into one to improve your style.
Setting a goal to have a certain body type
iscan be a
because it gives you motivation to
and eat healthy
, which we all should do.; However,it is
when this goal becomes obsessive and you begin to starve yourself
because theto lose
is not coming off that isthat the means to achieving the goal become unjustifiable never justifiable
The goal is to love yourself and accept yourself at any size not to harm your body for a look that you may never even attain.
The goal is to love yourself,
accept yourself at any size, and
harm your body trying to achieve
a look that you may never even attain.
Other goals may be to marry the man or woman of your dreams that you let slip from your life because at the time you were not ready for a relationship.This sentence doesn't go with the theme of your essay. How does letting a potential spouse slip from your life represent using extreme, unjustifiable means to achieve a goal? I think you need to "connect the dots" better if you use this example. Reading ahead, maybe what you meant to convey is something like this:Another example of using extreme methods of achieving a goal is when someone tries to recapture the attention of an old flame by trying to interfere in his or her new relationship.I hope this has helped you!