Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

'going back to university' - If you could go back to sometime and place in the past


hedieh 2 / 3  
Jan 8, 2012   #1
All around the world,almost everyone want to go back in the past to complete dreams and resolve errors which they had committed.If i could to go back,i would like to go to university and study period.That was a time when has various fundemental effects on people life because of many reasons.

My first reason is that this time is very vital years for person to find the right way considering education and work.At this time people can improve their knowledg and experience for having superb future .if i was that time,i would make extra effort and hard work to achieve more improvment in education and being qualified for my beloved job.I had I will so glad if anybody reads my essay and corrects it :)

to struggle with unwanted challenges instead of wasting time to deal up unimportant things.
Another reason for going back to university is there were pleasurable and enjoyable circumstance due to spending time with friends.University is a place where you can establish friendly relashionships with many people who are like your level.It is very important for a person to have friends with similar values and social class.I would like to go to univarsity and find more friends,particulary intimat friend for spending amount of pleased time with eachother.it is thought that university is the best place for finding friends.

Finally,i want to go back for consulting with my parents and the eldery about making crucial decision.Because i find utilizing to their recommends are very practical and useful.Sad to say a large number of people pay less heed to parent's advices.It causes them to commit alot of errors in their life.

In conclusion ,it is very interesting if we could to go back and fulfil our mistakes.I personally want to go to university period and would secure my education and work future.

Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Jan 9, 2012   #2
Hi :) I can help edit your grammar for you: (I will do the first couple of paragraphs)

All around the world,If given the chance, almost everyoneanybody would want to go back into the past to complete dreams and resolve errors change mistakes which they had committed. If I could to go back in time ,I would like to go to my university and study period. That was a time when which had various fundamental effects on people's livesbecause offor many reasons.

My first reason is that this time is very vital years forin a person's lifeis essential to findlearning skillsthe right way consideringregarding education and work. At this time, people can improve their knowledge and experiencesin order to have afor having superb future. If I was back in that time of my life , I would make extra effort and hard work harder to achieve moreimprovements in my education and qualifications for my beloved job. I had I will so glad if anybody reads my essay and corrects it :)

You have many great points for your paper. You display maturity in your ideas. Your grammar needs a lot of work. Keep working on editing your grammar, and your essay will be fine! I wish you the best of luck :)
unwana11 4 / 13  
Jan 9, 2012   #3
Your ideas are well thought of, but as Jennyflower said you should spend more time editing your grammar, and once you are past that stage your essay would be fine.

@Jennyflower could you please look at my personal statement for Penn State


Home / Writing Feedback / 'going back to university' - If you could go back to sometime and place in the past