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"I'm not going to lie, I'm a liar" - my best lie yet is lying about lying


trilam153 9 / 21 3  
Jun 14, 2013   #1
Skim it first. I need to know if there is any possible confusion to further clarify.
My ending is weak. As of now, let's assume there is no word limit


I'm not going to lie, I'm a liar. Who would people trust really? A liar who tells the world that he is a liar or a liar who would just lie to the world? Although I am certain that I am not a pro, I do practice every day. I usually wake up at 6 am on a school day to take nice a long shower until the bell rings, then I would just show up to hand over a self-signed excuse note from my mother. I often hide my sister's cellphone in a hidden front pocket so she will not know where to look. The joke is pretty serious until the phone vibrates.

But in my defense, my lies never hurt anyone. They are only designed to make my life witty and others' miserable. Sometimes the victims laugh, other times, "nuh-uh," but either way I would continue the game. What is life without whimsy? In my lying career, I never get to understand why my best trick only applies to me. I have been very successful at fooling myself into believing what I "ought to" feel and think. I can simply regulate my heart rate and focus on the specific aspect of situation I am currently in to distort my own arithmetic. I love to go on Facebook to tell the world how much I despite sentiments, even though in my heart, passion is true. My disguise so far is absolute. Even my sisters cannot tell which of my feelings are true. All they ever see is a strong and cold-hearted brother who hides under the cloak of an erratic man. I guess my deception has three layers, and whatever properties of the third, I am not ready to know.

Simply put, I am a big fan of homeostasis. Thus, I do not like my flimsy string of the state to be threatened by some imprudent warmth. I would rather bury my undeniable feelings under a soulless mask than to expose them and let me and people around me hurt. In a way, I fear that emotions may get the better of me. Like every members of my family, I have responsibilities. Trusted in me, as the eldest son of the alpha member of the family tree, are tasks of connecting and uniting members, bringing them together regardless of flood and storm. My father, who is very successful at his tasks, is not known for love and affection, and I, as his son, am not planning on breaking traditions.

I lie, but all my lies are truths. My lies are the kinds of lawyers' lies, by omission. I have emotions, but it does not mean I have to show them. Self-deception makes me feel better about myself, that logic will always makes my decision wise, and believe that whatever happens next, it will be alright. I can fight bravely for whatever happens outside but act very humble for those of the inside. I lie because I feel weak. I lie because at 11 pm my mother has to be at work and nobody but her own son makes her a cup of coffee at 7 am the next day. If I grow up to be forceless, what kind of son would I be? Logic, for all I know, can dictate my actions as long as nobody has a chance to hurt my family. There are always grains of truth in every lie; I just find it easier to ignore them. But so does everyone else. I figured the best way to know somebody is through his lies - my best lie yet is lying about lying.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 14, 2013   #2
I'm not going to lie, I'm a liar.

I'm not going to lie - yes, I am a liar! ... Impressive beginning!

Although I am certain that I am not a pro, I do practice every day

.... practice what? how to lie? ...this line is a bit vague!

I usually wake up at 6 am on a school day to take nice a long shower until the bell rings, then I would just show up to hand over a self-signed excuse note from my mother.

....hey.... this is too bad!

They are only designed to make my life witty and others' miserable.

They are crafted only to make my life witty and others's miserable, yet only temporarily.
I love your style of writing....Indeed you are a very witty person ... I had a good laugh while I was reading your essay :D

Good job and Keep it up!
OP trilam153 9 / 21 3  
Jun 15, 2013   #3
....hey.... this is too bad!

Do you mean in terms of bad writing or bad action? If bad writing, how do i rephrase it to make the essay flows smoothy.

In overall performance, is there much grammar problem?
And thanks haha, good essay only comes once in a while. One night i decided to delete all unfinished essay and a good one came out.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 15, 2013   #4
Do you mean in terms of bad writing or bad action? If bad writing, how do i rephrase it to make the essay flows smoothy.

....lol .... I meant your bad action.... and it's perfect writing :D

In overall performance, is there much grammar problem?

... I don't think so.... You write very well :)

And thanks haha, good essay only comes once in a while. One night i decided to delete all unfinished essay and a good one came out.

.... I think this is it :)
A few more suggestions;

I do lie, but all my lies are truths.

... the latter needs a bit of explanation, otherwise it may confuse the reader. Why you say your lies are truths. How about;
I do lie, but my lies are based on truth.


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