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"going outside or performing physical exercise" - (important issue) Topic - Obesity


bigblueduck 1 / -  
Nov 7, 2010   #1
I know that this essay isn't very well thought out or written, but I've been sitting in my house for about 4 hours now not sure about what to write. Obesity is a problem that everybody can relate to because you see it every day. If you could help me fix up my essay and make it a bit more...professional and well thought out I would greatly appreciate it. For those of you that don't know the exact topic here it is.

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

And here's my essay, I don't necessarily need it to get in since I'm automatically accepted because I'm 10th in my class out of 613 but I would still like to write a good one. *don't be too harsh :D*

Everybody's done it, drove to Mcdonald's or Burger King because of the ease and efficiency that going there provides. You drive in; order and then you get your food within a couple of minutes. This is one of the most prevalent problems when it comes to obesity in America. The ease with which fast food can be obtained is a huge problem when fresh or organic food is not available immediately. Although some people don't believe it, time has sped up and people don't want to wait for things to happen. They want easy access food so that they can continue on with their day.

I've learned a great deal about this problem by listening to what my mother has to say, she is big on fresh and organic foods and will not buy foods that have preservatives or are grown using harmful pesticides or chemicals. The only problem with these foods is that they cost more than cheap foods that Mcdonalds supplies, where you can get a full hamburger for only a dollar or a meal with fries, a large 32 ounce drink and a double hamburger for only five dollars. With the economy the way it is, people can't afford to purchase these organic foods that will lead to them having fuller and healthier lives.

Obesity causes most of the major-issue health problems in America, diabetes and different types of cancers. The problem with this is that people are becoming obese before they can even drive a car. On the show Maury, there was a girl who was nearly two hundred pounds and couldn't even walk and she was only seven years old. Now, is this right? Is the food that we're eating so bad for us that it's causing us to become fat before we can even do anything about it? People should take the initiative and stop eating foods that are bad for them. Nobody can stop them from eating the foods that they eat but the increasing rates of obesity are putting stress on the medical field to find cures for diseases that are in a direct correlation to being obese.

Food choice however is not the only way that people become obese. Lack of physical exercise is becoming a major issue in the United States, with video games, texting and being on the computer being readily available distractions for children to stay inside. Year by year America has become an increasingly sedentary society, with most people not wanting to traverse outside of their home. Most entertainment now comes from television and video games instead of from playing outside or being with friends.

Until people realize that going outside or performing physical exercise and eating healthier is necessary, people will continue to become obese and have more health problems. Obesity isn't something that America can fix over night, it's an ever increasing problem that most likely will never stop, but it can be treated with the right diet and exercise.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,682 129  
Nov 16, 2010   #2
Everybody's done it, drove to Mcdonald's or Burger King because of the ease and efficiency that going there provides.

I see that Courtney already corrected your grammar here. On behalf of Nathan, Thanks, Courtney!

I've learned a great deal about this problem by listening to what my mother has to say-----It would be nice if you also learned about it by using Internet research or reading some of the books that have been written about it.

Maury and your mom are not good enough sources. Read some journal articles. Try Google Scholar, and type: obesity America

In college, you may find that you have to work a lot harder than you worked in high school, so be careful!! Start reading professional journal articles now, for this essay, as practice to help you do well in college.


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