TOEFL WRITING: Why going to university or college

This is my writing of TOEFL, please help me to improve the paper. Thank you.
"Why going to university or college"

Nowadays, attending in university seems to be a trend that most students follow to. But why people are going to university? In my opinion, there should be some reasons.

Firstly, people attending in university will acquire subject knowledge firmly and systematically. They should attend in classes, discuss on major with others, do assignment after classes and so on. All these go on in a scientific progress, and at the end of a team, final exam will, in generally, ensure that students have a good commend of the knowledge on the subjects. During period of studying, they should read many relative materials and thought deeply on the issue, so their studying and analysis skill will be improved. At the same time, there should be some difficulty in the way, such as the time arrangement, choosing problem, students should try to overcome them and adjust themselves all the time.

Secondly, life in campus is colorful and diversity, student can enjoy their life during the time. There are so many activities which university students can take part in, such as knowledge competition games which students can pick up knowledge in a interesting form, parties which students can dress up to show their beauty and confidence. These events pervade good chance for university students to make friends and have a deeper understanding about others. What's more, there are some opportunities to get a close contact with society, such as some programs hold by company which students will join staffs in doing some work, so these students could learn much by the opportunity of communicating and dealing problem with social elites and experts.

Lastly, with a full education in university, students will get a degree which seems as a access to a good job. Now many companies prefer to employ people who at least own bachelor degree. If a person who do not have this degree, especially in crisis time, it should be a disadvantage to find a job. This does not mean that the bachelor degree paper is important, but it means the studying in university which has prepared the skill and ability useful in next work.

So, as I have mentioned above, there are some reason for why students want to go university.

They prepare for classes and discuss many major topics...


will check integrally how much knowledge that student gain in their classes.


I dont understand this sentence. You may clarify your idea. :(


There are some difficulties....Student must overcome these troubles and adjust themselves to rush studying environtment.
It's my opinions. :D.

Hi candy2571, some corrections from my side.

"Nowadays, attending in university seems to be a trend that most students follow to". ....Nowadays, attending University seems to be a trend among students.

But why people are going to university? In my opinion, there should be some reasons." But why (are students ) going to Universities ? Some of the reasons are as follows.

"Firstly, people attending in university will acquire subject knowledge firmly and systematically.".... People attending Universities would acquire in depth and systematic knowledge of their subjects.

"They should attend in classes, discuss on major with others, do assignment after classes and so on" ...They are required to attend classes, engage in group discussion and complete their assignments on a regular basis.

"All these go on in a scientific progress, and at the end of a team, final exam will, in generally, ensure that students have a good commend of the knowledge on the subjects" ....All these will help students to progress, and the end term examination ensures that the students have a good command of their subjects. ---( I am not sure of this construct)

"During period of studying, they should read many relative materials and thought deeply on the issue, so their studying and analysis skill will be improved" ....While studying they should refer material other than their course books and develop deep insight into their subjects. This would further improve their analytical skills.

"At the same time, there should be some difficulty in the way, such as the time arrangement, choosing problem, students should try to overcome them and adjust themselves all the time." ...There would be challenges such as time management and decision making, but the students must learn to overcome them.

"Secondly, life in campus is colorful and diversity, student can enjoy their life during the time" .... Campus life is colorful and diverse and students can have a lot of fun during this time.

"There are so many activities which university students can take part in, such as knowledge competition games which students can pick up knowledge in a interesting form, parties which students can dress up to show their beauty and confidence" ....There are many activities in Universities in which students can take part. Such as knowledge competition and fashion shows where they can demonstrate their talents.

"These events pervade good chance for university students to make friends and have a deeper understanding about others".... These events provide a good platform for making new contacts.

"What's more, there are some opportunities to get a close contact with society, such as some programs hold by company which students will join staffs in doing some work, so these students could learn much by the opportunity of communicating and dealing problem with social elites and experts." .... Some students might get a chance to work with companies, where they could learn from experienced staff members. ( i would need to reconstruct this sentence in a better manner)

"Lastly, with a full education in university, students will get a degree which seems as a access to a good job".... Finally with an University degree students would be eligible for good jobs.

"Now many companies prefer to employ people who at least own bachelor degree".... Today most companies prefer to hire University graduates.

"If a person who do not have this degree, especially in crisis time, it should be a disadvantage to find a job".... A person who is not qualified would find it difficult to find a job, especially during a crisis period.

"This does not mean that the bachelor degree paper is important, but it means the studying in university which has prepared the skill and ability useful in next work."...Getting a degree is not the most important thing, what matters are the skills that one learns in a University.

"So, as I have mentioned above, there are some reason for why students want to go university." ...Your final paragraph should be a little more elaborated.

... this sounds too vague. You need to specify though very briefly it should be. .... or else at least say;
there are several reasons for this trend; ... this makes sense to the reader :)


First, people attend universities acquire specialized knowledge in their respective discipline in a more systematic way.
Actually, specialization is the primary focus of tertiary education. Why don't a person who want to be a certain professional, just stop with high school education? Because the knowledge he has already acquired is too general. He needs that specialized knowledge and you better mention about this here.

Homescholling
In this set of materials, the reading passage describes several disadvantages of homeschooling. The listening passage challenges it by discussing about advantages of homeschooling.
The reading passage describes several disadvantages of homeschooling. It states that there is less learning, less social interaction, and less variety in the curriculum in homeschools than traditional schools. Moreover, according to the passage, children in homeschools do not have final exams to pass to a higher level. So the information of students in homeschools do not be measured and examined like the students in the traditional schools.

The listening passage challenges the discussion and conclusion in the reading passage by listing some advantages of homeschooling. According to the listening passage children in homeschools can learn more than children in the traditional schools. They also can have more social interaction with other homeschooled children, and wider variety in the curriculum because they are not limited by school boards. These notices are completely in contrast with the ideas in the reading passage, which says that students in homeschools learn less, have less social interaction, and less curriculum than students in the traditional schools.