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TOEFL: Good or bad for more information?


jiaxing 2 / 7  
Sep 15, 2009   #1
This is my practice writing for TOEFL topic, please help me revise it.
Thanks.

Topic:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Today,there are so many sources of news amd information that it is difficult to know whom to believe or who is telling the truth.

Since the first television was invented, human-beings have entered a world of information. With the surprising amount of information, some people believe that we are no longer able to determine who should be trusted and who shouldn't. From my perspective, however, the growing amount of information will not befuddle us at all. In contrast, they enable people to make informed choice.

When provided with oceans of information, people have the ability to choose, what to hear and what not to receive. For instance, when got the morning newspaper, do you read all articles word by word? Of course not. In fact, you just scan the titles-the themes of these long articles, and only when you find one interests you will you continue reading the context. So it is the same when people receive information.

Large quantities of information are not confusing because people are able to select the information they receive. More notably, a great deal of information helps people to make informed choice.

Information broadens people's horizon so that it is easier for them to differentiate variant kinds of advertisements, eliminating prejudges and bias. Imagine you are born in a scanty village where information is cut off from the outside world. You may never know what car is and naturally make the assumption that riding a horse is the fast way to move from one place to another. With adequate information, now we have more choices when we want to travel to Mexico from California. Ships and planes are in our consideration.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that more information is not a bad thing. It doesn't make it more difficult to distinguish good and bad. Instead, it contributes to people's wise choices.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 15, 2009   #2
Hmm... You simply refute the idea that too much information can be confusing by listing some of the reasons that information is useful. What I mean is, you just say "no, it's not confusing" without actually addressing that question. What happens when people are deluged by numerous "news" channels, all saying different things because none are required to follow basic journalistic ethics? How can they tell what to believe? What happens when people encounter advertisements disguised as news stories or simply multiple competing advertisements which they do not have the knowledge or skills to examine critically? Will they really make wiser choices, or will they simply buy from whomever is able to shout more loudly by buying more ad space? The global spread of fast food, and the consequent increase in diet-based diseases in low-income countries, suggests that people are not making particularly wise choices in which they carefully weigh information but, rather, responding to the most powerful advertisers.

But that is a problem of content, and this is a TOEFL essay, so you may be OK. However, watch out for word choice -- you mean "various" where you say "variant"-- and be careful not to add commas where they are not needed.
OP jiaxing 2 / 7  
Sep 15, 2009   #3
Thanks for your feedback!
I have a question for posting reply in the forum.
How can I quote what others said?
I asked it in the Forum FAQ & Help section but no one replied, so...
Notoman 20 / 419  
Sep 15, 2009   #4
How can I quote what others said?

Highlight the text that you want to quote and then click on "quote" right underneath their reply box (next to "reply")
OP jiaxing 2 / 7  
Sep 15, 2009   #5
Thanks:]
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Sep 15, 2009   #6
I agree with Simone. The essay would be much more interesting if it dealt with how one chooses which sources of information to believe. Most statistics can be massaged to get the result you want without even having to resort to outright dishonesty. A great many "facts" that most people accept uncritically are in fact utter myths, and great many more are open to multiple interpretations. Even where you have actual, indisputable, incontrovertible facts, which is rare, it is not always clear which how the data should be privileged, or what the full implications of that data are in any given debate. Try looking at the "facts" involved in any controversy, such as those surrounding global warming or gun control, and you'll see what I mean.
OP jiaxing 2 / 7  
Sep 15, 2009   #7
Thanks...I think I should be more critical...do I catch your meaning?


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