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(IELTS)It's a good or bad trend when it comes to only one language for all people in the world?


William Tran 1 / 4  
Oct 10, 2021   #1
Scientists say that in the future humanity will speak the same language.

Is it a positive or negative development?



In the current era that people throughout the world are becoming more and more connective to each other than ever before, scientists predict that in the near future, everyone in our planet is going to use just one general language for communicating. In fact, this development would introduce both positive and negative aspects, due to all of its benefits and drawbacks which have been brought to our society.

On the one hand, the most noticeable advantage when it comes to the strengths is that people no longer have to learn foreign language anymore. Indeed, there is no doubt that were global residents to speak and share their information through only one method, there would be no need to add some other popularly-used ones like English, French or Chinese into the educational curriculum of school and university. Moreover, citizens coming from myriads of nations would be able to communicate even better and at a deeper level without any dependance on translating instrumentals or "language barrier" on a daily basis, which, to some extents, raise the comprehensive development of a diversity of industries such as tourism or co-operation, for instance.

On the other hand, in terms of the opposite side, the risk of losing the variety of cultures should not also be overlooked, especially in an age that its role has already been raised by a multitude of countries. Needless to say, a majority of nations out there always consider their language as the soul of the whole people, making it an unchangeable position in their national and historical values. Undoubtedly, those countries are all proud of their traditional legacy and the born of an "one for all" language, paradoxically, would also mean that those conventional ones are likely to be eliminated.

In conclusion, the trend shows effects on both sides which are all need to be taken into consideration. There are plus points regarding the convenience in communicating as well as the elimination of language barrier, but conversely, also some minus ones related to the corruption of traditional and national languages in the diversity of cultures.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,700 3784  
Oct 10, 2021   #2
this development would introduce both positive and negative aspects

So which aspect do you support in this discussion? Remember, this is a single s discussion. Nowhere are you asked to "discuss both views" so that type of reasoning is not used in this discussion.

benefits and drawbacks

This is a totally different type of prompt and essay discussion. Do not confuse yourself. Use only the orginally provided discussion instruction. Altering the discussion will result in a failing essay.

* The student shows clear signs of weak English comprehension skills due to his confusing restatement + s presentation. He failed to connect with the original writing instructions

An incorrect comparative discussion format has been used in the essay. Further enforcing the student's misunderstanding of the writing instructions and, creating the impression that he does not have a clear opinion based on the given guidelines. It is unlikely this essay will recieve a passing mark.
OP William Tran 1 / 4  
Oct 10, 2021   #3
@Holt
I really appreciate your comments about my essay. Thank you so much !
But, I suppose that my essay has been written in the formula and guideline for the IELTS writing task 2 when it comes to the one of "Disadvantages/Advantages" ?
Gnaight 2 / 3  
Oct 11, 2021   #4
I really like your writing style but I think that after you indicate the pros and cons, you should have a graph showing your opinion even though you stand in the middle of both sides. It will be more clear when you do that.
OP William Tran 1 / 4  
Oct 11, 2021   #5
@Gnaight
thank you for your advice ! It is such a great and supportive suggestion for me to take into consideration.
iam5102 2 / 3  
Oct 12, 2021   #6
Wow, I actually like your writing style, but I think you are focusing too much on discussing and forgot giving your own opinions which answer the question. With it, your essay will be much clearer.
j0NZICH 2 / 2  
Oct 12, 2021   #7
Hi, I need to give 2 feedbacks in order to make a thread in my own account so I came here. Although my writing skills are not top-notch currently, I need to say that this essay is good: no technical structures and memorized sentences, vocabulary is also enough to be precise and coherent. To make it better, I would give fewer examples or precise implementations of examples if you know what I am talking about, just I feel you did a great job to come up with examples and saying why the eradication of languages will be detrimental, but I think you went a little bit far, albeit it is better to be too precise rather than to overgeneralize.
Ranee 2 / 6 3  
Oct 13, 2021   #8
@William Tran

I think your writing has a clear structure and points presented in 4 paragraphs, which is really good. I can see your 'investment' for impressive lexical words, too.

However, I have some contributive comments that I hope may improve your writing as follow:

Firstly, as far as I research, it will be more highly rated and easier for you if you just pick negative or positive side (just pick one). But I think it's optional.

Secondly, I can see the way you write and use words/ phrases may be a little eccessive. For example,
"..." I would like to cut it down to "On the one hand, the most noticeable advantage is.."

or
"..." I would write "On the other hand,.." only as you already say On one hand in previous paragraph.

Thirdly, I spotted unfit word choice such as "translating instrumentals" (-> translating tools), "the whole people" (-> human being).

It's my opinion. Hope it will be useful to you :))


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