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A good environment with humble people only in a small village - english studio


alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 14, 2016   #1
As we know, many people like to lived in small village. Almost all people recognized the other. They usually met in everywhere such as market, street, garden, and many more. But now, many poeple tend to forget their tradition, often we find someone so busy to greet other people while he walking in street. He prefer played with his handphone. Particularly, in big town many people have many problem, so they just greet other people who have recognized by him.

In comparison, in village many people like to talke with strangers, don't like people in town.
Many benefits if we live in small village than town. Firstly, in village there are many pretty scenery like waterfall, farm, river. When we bored just walk around village. Secondly, there are many humble people in small village. They usually smile when he met someone. Thirdly, food in village is healty and tasty because the use good vegetables from their farm and cook without chemical.

In other hand, many disavantage when we decided to live in village, such as limited education, and bad service of public area, many road in village are broken. In conclusion, there are many advantage and disavantage live in small village. Depens you to decided because town is good place for modern life with all of people. There are many good public area and education in town. But if you want to live in good environment with humble people. I suggest you to live in small village.
NinaJoesuf25 36 / 66 4  
Nov 14, 2016   #2
As we know, many people like to [...] who have recognized by him.

Please, add the instruction in your essay, so we can understand about the question

let me help you to help in your overview
Just make it simple in your overview and give a specific in your body essay.
Occupying in big cities can be extremely stressful. It is believed that people are more likely to live in a remote area since they have a bond each other. However, in this day and age people are bound to dwell in big companies rather than in a small village. I would argue that living in a small area is the best choice
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Nov 14, 2016   #3
Hi Alfin, I believe this is my first time to review your essay and with that, I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum Family, we aim to provide you with the most accurate and valuable feedback that you will be able to use to strengthen your essay.

Now, as I review your essay, I must say you have what it takes to write. You were able to use words that are very easy to comprehend, you made sure that your sentences are logical and the paragraphs are not too short and not too long, however, there is no title, no prompt and having tagged this essay as Writing test 2 in English Studio does not necessarily give us, reviewers, a clear view of what and how to review your essay. What I mean is that, we need to have a solid ground such as the prompt, the title or the goal of the essay in order for us to provide you a review that will be very beneficial to your revision.

Having said that, all you need to do now is to make sure that you write back to us with the title or the prompt of this essay that you are answering to, now, don't get me wrong, we can still review your essay base on the construction of the sentences and how you follow the English language rules, however, it will be very beneficial for both parties if we have the prompt in order to get an overall perspective of the essay. I wish to hear from you soon and keep writing!
yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 15, 2016   #4
Hello Alfin, let me give my correction

many people have many problemsbecause "many" shows plural form, so the "problem" must be "problems"

many disavantagedisadvantages"plural form"

many road roads or streets


Depensdepend you to decideddecide "infinitive + V1"

thank you
Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 15, 2016   #5
Hi alvin, what a good summary, but let me give some advice, perhaps useful for you. feel free to correct me.
1. Almost most of people recognized the other.
2.But now , many poeple tend to forget ... ---> you can not put But in the beginning of the sentence for academic purpose.
3.poeple ---> people ( miss spelling word)
Depens ---> depend
to considered ---> to consider ( to + bare infinitive)
4.many disavantage ---> many advantages ( plural and miss spelling word)
5.But now, many poeple tend to forget their tradition, often we find someone ...---> Nowadays, many people tend to forget their tradition, often we find someone so busy to greet other people while he walking in street and prefer played with his mobile phone.
Abrahamlincoln 54 / 56  
Nov 15, 2016   #6
Dear Alfian

i think you have good enough skill to write in English. However, there are several improvements should be taken to sharpen your English. Firstly, you have to pay attention to use singular and plural words, deal with subject+verb agreement and also minor grammatical errors. secondly, you have to choose proper conjunction to connect your sentence with the previous ones. thirdly, please read some article to array your vocabularies. I strongly recommend you to have Cambridge dictionary which helps you to choose advanced vocabulary

Good luck


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