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IELTS Writing Task 2: Is it good to increase the life expectancy?

Katherine_Tu1101 3 / 5 3  
Jul 5, 2019   #1

what brings the extended life expectancy of human?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

With scientific methods being renewed and medical facilities being modernized, medical researchers possess more and more resources on combating deadly diseases and setting up efficient preventions for our bodies which, for sure, benefit in increasing human beings' life expectancy. However, it also brings both positive and negative effects on our society.

To begin with, with the expansion of life expectancy, people are able to do several things with no time limitation. To cite, firstly, people have chances of spending more time with family, friends and spouses. Secondly, time restriction won't ever be an obstacle for people who desire to pursue their dreams, like traveling to various nations to experience the diversity of human civilization in person. Thirdly, the elderly own more life skills and experiences which can share them with the coming generation. Expanding lifespan even brings a huge advantage for those experts, such as physicists and biologists, who discover a groundbreaking theory in their late ages. Thanks to the enhanced medical research and treatment, those scientists will be capable of writing and sharing their theory and even educating their apprentices on their own in no hurries. Extensively, it may speed up scientific development significantly.

Despite these advantages, there are still a few drawbacks of extending lifespan that may affect our society negatively. The population of elder-ages will definitely increase dramatically which has a high possibility to influence the economy. Take Japan as a typical example, due to its aging society, the authority is now facing with serial economics and medical problems including the lacking of young labors, the payment of pension, and the complete system of long-term care.

In conclusion, it's clear that extending life expectancy brings plenty of benefits in many aspects for both youngsters and governments. In my point of view, thus, I believe that increasing life expectancy has more merits than disadvantages.

Maria - / 1,100 389  
Jul 6, 2019   #2
Hi there!

I'll provide you with feedback on your writing.

First and foremost, the structure of the sentences can be improved through omitting unnecessary extension words that do not add value to your writing. If you can simplify the length of your content, the better it would be overall for your writing. If you can separate long thoughts into smaller chunks, the better it would be also for you as you can explain more without the meaning getting lost in translation. Observe your first paragraph.

In the body paragraphs, try to explain with more of a concrete approach. Explain with detail how these things are applicable rather than idealizing the concepts.

Best of luck!

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