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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - GOOD NUTRITION FOR CHILDREN LEARNING ACTIVITIES


daya23 4 / 4  
Aug 26, 2016   #1
Good nutrition in food somehow important to boost children performances in school. You are what you eat, said some nutritionist to mention how healthy meals influence people activities. Does complete diet with less junk food - really affect to children learning effectiveness?

In several development countries, such as Ghana, Bangladesh and Ethiopia, bad nutrition has becoming an issue related to children health and their education. An extreme starvation condition in those countries brought their children into dying, even death. How we can talk about learning in effective way, meanwhile there are hungers children who could not doing activities as children in healthy environment and have enough food? Before we put healthy meal into a debate, the availability of food still remained as a crucial problem for some countries in the world.

Regarded to the the illustration above, I take the link between food and children activities for this context is in learning. Brain needs sufficient nutrition to doing its activities, some scientist said that you hard to think well when you are hungry. Furthermore, there are certain food which can develop brain performances for instance, seafood and others high protein food. Children who like eat junk food have a bigger risk to obesity which can causes to laziness when doinf physical and mental activities. Children get easier to feel sleepy in the class because junk food could not be transformed into sufficient energies those children need to get along during school hours.

To avoid the exceeds of unhealthy food consumptions, parents should take their responsibility to provide children with a healthy lunch box everyday. School have to consider a policy about which kind of food can be sold in cafeteria as well. In my opinion, environment is important to build a healthy eat habit in children. They may learn in happy mood and show great results because they have fit body to doing much activities.

akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Aug 26, 2016   #2
Hi Daya..
I have read the writing closely. Let me give you suggestions to develop your writing.

First of all, there was not a sense of writing task 2. You constructed your writing unsystematically. Honestly, I cannot give a large number of comments since the basic structure was not contained in this writing. Miss Daya, the writing consist of the introduction, body, and conclusion paragraph. Those elements did not exist in yours. This is not a free writing. Make you sure that you write including ideas and be presented systematically. On the other hand, one of your major mistakes is no addressing task responses.

Turning to the task response, the statement asks you to explain true of an opinion. How is true that CHILDREN NEED THE HEALTHY FOOD? However, you reviewed about effects of junk foods. [i]"Children who like eat junk food have a bigger risk to obesity which can causes to laziness when doin physical and mental activities. Children get easier to feel sleepy in the class because junk food could not be transformed into sufficient energies those children need to get along during school hours."


About the second task response, you did not explain deeply about whose responsibility for the matter. You are supposed to answer the task responses well. Although you harness vocabularies well, it is nothing if all are free of the response.Be careful of your writing out of the topic. This is writing for measuring your analysis and how far you can explore your ideas as long as still the edge of the topic.

Please, you need much time to read and analyze examples of the writing task 2 so that you get the point. Pay attention about alarm because on condition that you still conduct this, I am afraid your score will fall down less than 5.

Practice more and more.
good lucl\k. [/i]
Naoki28 10 / 18 2  
Aug 26, 2016   #3
Good nutrition in food somehow is important to boost ...

... bad nutrition has becomingbecome an issue related to children ...
How we cancan we talk about learning (...) there are hungers children who could not ...

Regarded toas the the illustration above, ...
... some scientist said that you hardit is hard for you to think well
Furthermore, there are certain foods which can develop ...
... obesity which can causes to laziness when doinfdoing physical and mental activities.
Heru22 5 / 7 1  
Aug 26, 2016   #4
hi daya, i read your essay. I think your writing is good. I just find some grammatical mistake and wrong spelling like doing, you write in your own essay doinf. But i could say that it is not any sense of essay for task 2 in IELS. You put your idea in bad structure.

First, for introduction i think you have to write about general background/problem which you want to explain and in this part you have to mention about your thesis statement. If you said that good nutrition is needed for children to bouts their energy for learning pleas make overall view about that.

second, talking about body paragraph, i see that you have to put some main idea first for your paragraph and then you should write sentence which support your idea.

third, in your conclusion, you could write again your thesis statement using different paraphrase and please mention your recommendation
i believe your idea is well, you just need to read more many excamples of writing essay task 2 for ielts.

break a leg.


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