DISCUSS BOTH THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THE INTERNET
Contemporarily, great technological advancements of the world have been witnessed. Among a myriad of innovations, the Internet is always considered to be one of the most crucial invention, which has a significant impact on its users. However, everything has both sides, and the Internet is no exception.
On the one hand, there is no doubt that the Internet has positively changed our lives. First of all, it is undeniably the biggest source of information, which modern citizens are able to get access to and find answers to any questions they have. It is also the optimum tool to spread useful information. For instance, online movements have been created, such as the "Stay home" movement which reminds people of social distancing in the recent Covid-19 pandemic. In addition, the Internet connects the world together. With the Internet, people nowadays can bury the barriers and easily befriend with each other. This aids in promoting communication, breaking the conflicts or misunderstanding among the nations, cultures or religions and looking forward to a bright scenario in the future.
On the other hand, drawbacks of the Internet must be taken into account. Overusing the Internet results in serious outcomes, one of which is health problems. This often occur with the youth, who uses the Internet on a regular basis. Not only does the exposure to electrical appliances affect the physical health like aggravating eyesight, but it also worsens the mental health, particularly the brain, according to experts. Furthermore, due to the appealing Internet, a lot of teenagers today have a tendency to live too virtually. They gradually lose touch with their flesh and blood, friends and the whole society and refuse to live in their real lives. For inexperienced users, being assaulted online is also a consequence that a lot people have encountered, some even commited suicide due to the online stress.
In conclusion, the good points of the Internet are obvious, but its negative aspects emerge as well. Therefore, from my point of view, the Internet is actually a two-edged sword, which can be smartly utilized or unwisely exploited by the users.
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What is the original prompt for this essay? Is it an A/D discussion with personal opinion or just a simple A/D discussion presentation? You have to include the prompt when you post the essay so that I can have a solid handle on how to properly review the essay you are presenting. Right now, I'll focus on the general and obvious errors of your presentation. That's the best that can be done considering there is no prompt available to aid in the assessment of your work.
The prompt restatement does not properly represent the original prompt. The main factor that is considered here is how you best represent the original discussion topics in your own words. Then, using your own presentation, outline the upcoming discussion and accompanying topics towards the end. This will help the examiner consider whether your understood the discussion instructions or not.
The first reasoning paragraph has a very strong advantage discussion. However, you included a second topic, which is never done because adding a topic that does not relate to the previous discussion creates an incoherent passage. It lowers the C&C score because one topic will end up under explained when compared to the firs topic. So a one topic per discussion rule always works best. Notice, your paragraph was doing great, until you threw in the second topic, which ended abruptly
The disadvantage discussion should not include a reference to the research of someone else. A task 2 essay always uses information from the writer's personal experience or observations. Referring to research is not normally used because the examiner wants to know how well you understood the topic and can write about it, based on original information (not taken from other sources). That is how they test your ability to express yourself in English.
If you are required to present your personal point of view, then you should not include it in the concluding paragraph. That is either a stand alone paragraph or. the last 2 sentences of the A/D paragraphs. The conclusion is a mere retelling, in short form, of the original discussion, the A/D reasons. and your personal opinion.