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TOEFL: The government should collect fees from those who drive cars during rush hour.


anniejhs 1 / 1  
Aug 2, 2012   #1
Since the development of cars, cars have been enhancing people's lives in numerous ways. However, as a number of car has increased exponentially, there has been considerable disadvantages as well such as car congestions during rush hour and car accidents. To solve these drawbacks efficiently, I believe that collecting fees from those who drive cars during rush hour is a great antidote for the following two reasons. First, it will lead to a cleaner environment by reducing cars on the road. Second, it will eventually decrease the number of car accidents.

To start with, our environment will be cleaner and healthier with less cars on the road. How this works is that collecting fees means more drivers will try to avoid driving cars during rush hour. It will prevent cars from releasing harmful emissions causing the air pollution at that peak time. These emissions have hazardous effects on a human body if accumulated in a large amount, damaging a respiratory system. Moreover, one of the common substances known as the major cause of global warming, carbon dioxide emitted by cars will definitely decrease in amounts as well.

Cleaner environment is not a sole justification for supporting the idea to collect fees from drivers during rush hour. Serious problems like car related accidents will fall off by its number. As collecting fees will lead to fewer cars on the road during rush hour, the number of car accidents such as bumping and scratching each other will significantly decrease. According to the recent research done by the Korean government, it has been figured out that car accidents occur more during the rush hour when there are plenty of cars clustered together. However, if people try to make an effort by not taking cars and finding alternatives such as public transportation, there will be a major decrease in car accidents.

Some would dislike having to pay fees just for driving during rush hour. On the other hand, this is the effective way to make a cleaner environment and to reduce car accidents. This will not only help us to have healthier body with strong respiratory system, but it will also prevent people from getting injured on the road. Thus, it is clear that the government should collect fees from those who drive cars during rush hour.
hobbsy95 2 / 2  
Aug 2, 2012   #2
">However, as a number of car has increased exponentially, there has been considerable disadvantages as well such as car congestions during rush hour and car accidents.

Perhaps something like "as the number of cars on the road has increased so exponentially, so has the number of associated disadvantages such as traffic congestions during peak times and the number of car accidents ".

there are a few issues such as not using "a" e.g.

This will not only help us to havea healthier body

I think you just need to look back at your essay and change some of the sentances word order. other than that very good.
OP anniejhs 1 / 1  
Aug 5, 2012   #3
thanks for commenting it :) I will defineately have a loot at those mistakes.


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