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Government in democratic societies


iamtrying 3 / 8  
Nov 20, 2012   #1
Government in democratic societies should not restrict the public's access to information even if it is of a sensitive or classified nature.

REVIEW THE FULL ESSAY. PLEASE PLEASE do mention any comments grammar, punctuation, writing structure, examples and conflicting statements.

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Issue of sensitive and crucial information to public about country might lead to safety concern, as this information might even be available to the external world. However, personally, I do agree with the assertion that societies should not restrict the availability of information to the public. This option is based on the belief such as increase in corruption; bad usage of public money; and false information to public.

First, I believe that with the increase in corruption the notion of broadcasting information to the public should be practiced. In my country, most of the ministers are caught red handed as being involved in the corrupt activities: illegal land buying and earning black money ( given by the big businessman for creation or expulsion of polices beneficial to the business). All these activities, exposed by media, had led me to believe that a large amount of information is hidden from public. To add, if these hidden information are available to public then no ministers would have the courage to get involved in these malpractices. Beyond doubt, this would lead to sensitive information being available to media and in turn to the external world, but if every democratic government perform this activity then there is no fear of hiding any details as this would trim down the corruption and would be beneficial to the society in large. So, in my opinion exposing information to the public will do more good than bad to the society.

In addition to the increase in corruption, government is involved in ineffective utilization of public money. To explain this point, I would cast example of the money laundering activities during the Common Wealth Games, in India. Government was exposed in paying higher than the market value for the sports instruments required in the games. Moreover, on learning the full story, it was seen that most of the money was paid to business which indirectly belonged to the ministers' family. Ministers must be involved in many more activities which are hidden from common man as details related to every single activity are not known to individual. To stop this, it is important that public money and information related to it should be known to every individual. Display of this information, will help in reduction in ineffective money usage as people can question the government if required.

Finally, alongside the issue of corruption and ineffective monetary dealings, government is also responsible for the false statements given to public. This false information is known to public at a later point in time. Also, government wash away any improper comments by public on the mistakes done by the ministers, as an important step required at that point in time. As an example, I can include the miss management in monorail construction in Delhi, capital of India. The monorail project was a complete failure as construction has fallen down due to usage of inferior materials for construction. But government has negated this, by saying, this debacle was due to improper design given by the foreign agencies and no government officials are responsible. Hence, it's just pushing the blame of others and escaping from the bad situation. This again stresses on information (sensitive or trivial) should be available to the public to effectively question the government.

My consideration of the issue has explored factors such as spreading of corruption, miss manage in utilization of money, and incorrect statements broadcasted to people. These considerations led me to agree with the blanket statement that information should be available to public as this will be beneficial to the society. Presence of every single information will empower people who have right to question their leaders, as government is elected by people of the democratic society.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 28, 2012   #2
Hi : )

Issue of sensitive and crucial information to public about country might lead to safety concern, as this information might even be available to the external world.

This is your opening statement and therefore you need it very catchy. This one is pretty confusing and your idea is not clearly conveyed to the reader. Why not try a shorter sentence that has more clarity. Longer the sentence lesser the clarity : (


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