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IELTS; Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money


fahadbd 25 / 56 5  
Sep 20, 2013   #1
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead

The arts play our lives in accordance of modern events. The government makes every year a budget on both arts and public services. Music together with theatre will be one of the two sources of investment by the government. Some people believe a waste of money in art investment instead of public service. The aspects of discussion will go both sides of points first before of my preferred opinion.

These days, people often tend to enjoy better life by the help of modern development, music and theatre are to be such things, people amuse themselves. It is a kind of relaxing for all sorts of people. For example, an official employer goes to theatre with family even listen music sometimes and pass his leisure hours. Another side is the growth of economic development of the country needs to depend on arts industry, even though art is a symbol of cultural activity. The government receives a host of money as taxation from the art industry. However, this amount will lose if the government stops the provision of investment in the art industry.

In addition, Government are got used to spend money on public welfare such as schools, bridge and road construction, hospitals and so on. If the government does not provide enough supply on such sectors, the country might lag behind compared to the developed countries. It is certainly true that government has to ensure first the fundamental needs of its citizens then look at the entertainments and additional services. For instance, the authority will build up adequate hospitals in needs and schools to ensure education for children, public transport will be increased to avoid traffic jam.

In conclusion, I would say that a large amount of money goes to invest in public services as to improve the quality of a citizen's life. I do not believe spending money in the arts is a waste of money as this provides many important benefits.

aliceNN 8 / 23  
Sep 20, 2013   #2
I think you can use "first of all.... In addition...Moreover..."to make your structure more clear
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Sep 20, 2013   #3
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead

Is this just a part of your prompt?

The arts play an important role in our lives in accordance of modern events.

.... what do you mean by this? I mean the second part!

These days, people often tend to enjoy better life by the help of modern development, music and theatre are to be such things, people amuse themselves

You need to pay lots of attention to grammar. Try simple and short sentences. Have one sentence for one idea and avoid coupling ideas in one sentence. That would help you construct good sentences that can deliver your ideas clearly.
Elementary11 2 / 4  
Sep 21, 2013   #4
You need to make your essay clearer, it was hard to follow along.
thomascarlson - / 7  
Sep 23, 2013   #5
This assumption that art gives less returns in terms of money is not true. If we project them in right way in right time, it can become a treasure mine. The popularity of arts among public is decreasing due to the absence of talented artists.
hoseini57 1 / 2  
Sep 23, 2013   #6
your writing is good but you must pay special attention to your writing coherency and fluency. you have to write is such way that every reader engages in your topic and understands it easily.


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