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Government or particularly organizations must improve the punishment for each kind of crime.


Wilyaftika23 46 / 37 1  
Nov 6, 2016   #1
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances ...

Nowadays, many types of crime can we find in the center city. Government or particularly organisation must improve the punishment for each kind of crime. To make punishment effectively, society argue that condition of individual crime and reason why people do it must be considered. Personally, I believe that with considering all of aspect government can build good system of punishment and make criminal do not want to repeat again.

To build city safety, government especially police must decide distinct rule for each type of crime, for instance prisoner for people who corrupt, such as member of government must be harder than people who thieve hand phone in the traditional market, because if they corrupt money of country, it became damage for all people in the country. But if they just thieve a telephone, it just damage one person. In fact, in Indonesia punishment to member of government who corrupt fewer than ordinary people. So, it is needed certain regulation of each type of wickedness to build cleaner system.

On the other hand, societies argue that when deciding of punishment, government or relevant organisation must be considered about the condition of an individual crime or level of crime, for instance, there are three levels of crimes, such as very danger, danger, and no danger for people's life. If the criminal who have very dangerous for victims, such as leave soul of human, the punishment must be harder than the criminal who no danger for victims, such as thieve food without injure other people. Besides that, relevant organisation should be considered with motivation why people do a crime. For instance, people thieve a food in the supermarket because they do not have much money to buy some food for their family, the punishment should be lower than people who thieve food because of business competitor. All of them must be reviewed by government.

All in all, to build a good system of prisoner must be consider from many aspect. It can decrease a number of criminal because they know hard punishment if they do crime. In my opinion, to make fix it punishment in one country, government must improving several system in their country, such as, financial of human, politic, and they must give instruction for ordinary people about the punishment which will be given.
ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Nov 6, 2016   #2
Hi tika, here are my suggestions for you

First of all, you need to lessen your essay, because i think 384 words were too long and you difficult to maintain your coherence

be careful for misspelling

... we find in the centercentre city.

... people who thieve hand phone in the traditional market,
choice of words is important in essay, using 'smartphone' is better

...a telephone, it just damagedamages one person.

... punishment to a member of government who corrupt ...

If the criminal who have very dangerous for victims, such ...
There is no verb in your subclause
human is not a proper word. use people/inhabitants/member of society


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