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[TOEFL ESSAY ] Should the Government Provide Free College?


rjsdndi 1 / 1  
May 24, 2009   #1
Topic
While some pelple believe that the government should provide a college education free to any citizen who wants it, others beleve that it is up to the individual to finance his/her own education.


Please correct any grammatical errors... or any comments.. Thank you so much.

Some people believe that the government should cover the college tuitions and expenses for any citizen who wants to go to a college. However, I believe that individuals should pay their college tuition because it would cost too much, the college education is a personal's choice, and there are many ways to fund a college education.

First, making college education free would cost too much. It would divert public funds from other needs such as law enforcement, infrastructure and so forth. There are many other needs which should come first, such as providing health care to all American, or improving public schools. In addition, it would cause to raise our taxes again and again to fund college education. Consequently, it would affect all taxpayers whether or not they benefit from the use of the funds.

Second, it is a personal choice to go to a college. Not everyone wants to go to a college. People who want to make more money, and live a better life than other people decide to take a college education. Therefore, those people should make the financial investment in their own choice; not the government.

Third, there are many ways to fund a college education. People who cannot afford to pay their tuition benefit from the scholarship, financial aids, and other funds. In addition, the government already helps pay college expense through indirect means. They often provide services such as fire departments, medical assistance, and police protection for the schools and their students. They also provide funds for academic research. While the money is not given to individual students, these contributions are not trivial.

In short, the individual should finance his or her education because it is a personal choice. Otherwise, it would cause too much cost from taxpayers and the governmet.

EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
May 24, 2009   #2
I am going to comment only on grammar and structure rather than on your arguments.

On the whole, this is a sound and well-structured essay with few errors.

the college tuitions and expenses

it would cost too much for the public to pay , the college education is a personal's choice, and there are many ways to fund a college education.

In addition, public funding of college education would force the government to raise our taxes again and again to fund college education.

in their own choice, not the government.

People who cannot afford to pay their tuition can take advantage of scholarships , financial aids, and other funds.

Funding college education would cost too much from taxpayers and the government .
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
May 24, 2009   #3
This is pretty good for a TOEFL essay. I'd say you are in good shape for the test.

If you wanted to add some depth to your treatment of the subject matter, though, you might also explore the notion that not everyone who wants a college education deserves one, or is capable of getting one, or even understands what a college education really means. You would probably also look at the opposing side's arguments, and try to counter at least the most obvious ones. So,

In addition, it would cause to raise our taxes again and again to fund college education. Consequently, it would affect all taxpayers whether or not they benefit from the use of the funds.

But if college educated people earn more, they will also pay more taxes, so perhaps in the end the government would at least break even if it provided everyone with a high level of education? Just a thought.
OP rjsdndi 1 / 1  
May 25, 2009   #4
Thank you sooooo much. It helps me a lot. :)


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