Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views, give your opinion.


arlenne 1 / -  
Jun 22, 2021   #1

small number of people earn extremely high salaries



Prompt: In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essay:
There has been a controversial topic about whether the government should set a benchmark of the maximum income of individuals. While it may seem to be an ideal way to create a balanced society, I strongly believe that such treatment is impractical and even unhealthy.

On one hand, limiting the remunerations gives the government a tool to control general economic stability. Soon enough everyone reaches the limit of income, the same level of wealth. Then, the financial gap should not be a problem. While this may be a fair circumstance, it triggers the underlying threat of social psychology and the big picture of the laboring industry. For instance, we want to achieve the latest technology, we want to extend human's living time, we strive to break the boundaries, but are given limited revenue. Such an illogical situation springs to their minds and becomes a discouragement for those with serious talents, that despite being exceptionally helpful for the community, their efforts are credited the same.

On another hand, the companies should have the right to hold their decisions of their own expenses. High payments for employees are effective tools to attract excellent individuals and an appealing motivation for the candidates. With the increase of human's demands and the growth of the business, the employees therefore are required for more qualities and rightfully earn more. For example, a rookie working as a marketing intern has average monthly income for doing regular paperworks and organizing schedules versus a CEO of a marketing agency that works with big names for advertising campaigns that earns millions per year. This seems to be imbalanced, but if we take a look at the scope of work that is involved, we can see that they are considerably different, and have different impacts toward the general industry, thus deserve aforementioned salaries. It is a fair treatment for each person, and also the target for the one who is in the lower level.

In summary, although it may sound fair that a maximum income brings balance to the country, I strongly believe that such flawed theory has underlying consequences. Instead, unlimited awards boost employees in many ways, creating a healthy and competitive environment for everyone.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,703 4121  
Jun 24, 2021   #2
The prompt restatement is lacking in opinion presentation. Both public opinions must be interpreted for the presentation prior to the personal opinion statement. That is because the instruction asks the writer to "discuss both views then give an opinion". The writing format is therefore a comparative analysis based on the A/D + personal opinion format. A 3 paragraph essay based on 2 public opinions + 1 personal statement is required for the reader's information and consideration.

The public opinion discussions should use the 3rd person group pronouns to reflect the explanation of each publicly supported reason. This indicates the writer's comparative dissection of the validity of each public point of view. The first person singular pronouns, not group pronouns since that portion is a personal pov, should be used in the third paragraph where the writers belief about the topicis explored and presented.

While there is a strong closing summary presented, the need for a properly formatted discussion will adversely affect the score of this discussion.


Home / Writing Feedback / Governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views, give your opinion.