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Governments or children should be responsible for old people ?


Huong nisha 3 / 1  
Mar 13, 2013   #1
In the fast pace of life , most people are frequently engaged in their business and do not have time to take care for family and their old parents in particular. This is a paradox that some old people are forced to live in an old-aged home because they are abandoned by their children , besides , some choose to live in a home with their peer group. Together with this phenomenon , a controversial issue is that who should actually take the responsibility for paying these services.

In the first place, some people strongly argue that children should be responsible for paying care services their parents when they live in Old- aged home. Obviously, One of the most significant virtues of people is that we ought to take the duty to show the gratitude and thankfulness for parent's upbringing when we are mature enough. Undoubtedly , our parents have dedicated and sacrificed their all lives for next generation and brought a better life for us by working in toil and moil . In return , it is important to deserve to be paid back in appropriate manner.

On the other hand, some other people believe that governments has to pay for this care service. It is also suitable that government should support the old people if they do not have any children to take care of them or do not have salary for their living expenses , government should take responsibility for funding them. Furthermore , getting older is an inevitable fact in human life and not excepting anyone we will get older in the future , family and government had better to have a good preparation for convalescence. This is also a common issue of society but anyone's business , therefore, paying for this care services is an undeniable responsibility of government.

In conclusion , I would rather insist that this kind of the social responsibilities should be reasonably implemented by the government of any country. More importantly, authorities and politic makers can take actions for a long term initiative , hopefully this reasonable solution will work in the near future.

temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 13, 2013   #2
sacrificed their all lives for the next generation

"all their"
that was a better one of yours.. rather a good one.. liked the clarity of points :)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 13, 2013   #3
In the fast pace of life

In the fast paced life,

In the fast pace of life , most people are frequently engaged in their business and do not have time to take care for family and their old parents in particular. This is a paradox that some old people are forced to live in an old-aged home because they are abandoned by their children , besides , some choose to live in a home with their peer group. Together with this phenomenon , a controversial issue is that who should actually take the responsibility for paying these services.

Your attempt to introduce the topic to the reader looks good. However, it is better if you express your opinion on this argument here

In the first place, some people strongly argue that children should be responsible forpayingtaking care servicesof their parents when they live in Old- aged home.

paying attention / taking care of

Obviously, One of the most significant virtues of people is that we ought to take the duty to show the gratitude and thankfulness for parent's upbringing when we are mature enough.

Obviously, it is one of the good virtues of a person if he or she shows his/her gratitude towards the parents for raising him/her through many hardships.

In return , it is important to deserve to be paid back in appropriate manner.

.... this line has some issues
In return, they deserve better attention for all they did for their children.
formenthos 3 / 20 2  
Mar 13, 2013   #4
In the fast pace of life , most people are frequently engaged in their business and do not have time to take care for family and their old parents in particular. This is a paradox(actually, this isnt, this si cause and effect that you are demonstrating. X causes Y) that some old people are forced to live in an old-aged home because they are abandoned by their children , besides , some choose to live in a home with their peer group. Together with this phenomenon , a controversial issue is that who should actually take the responsibility for paying these services(what servies, list them, i mean, we know what you're saying, but you still need to be clear).

In the first place(drop this, we're in a new paragraph, so that already defines the beginning of a point) , some people strongly argue that children should be responsible for paying care services their parents when they live in Old- aged home. Obviously(in the world of debate, nothing is obvious when you are providing analysis, makes it look like you're taking a side, or you're trying to say this is too simple for me to take the time to explain) , One of the most significant virtues of people is that we ought to take the duty to show the gratitude and thankfulness for parent's upbringing when we are mature enough. Undoubtedly(drop this, because it makes this poistion sound absolute, and I can think of a ton of examples that instantly obliterate your absolute position... so dont take that. also, it may not be wise to say "our".. you're speakign for civilization as a whole, and that isn't really your place) , our parents have dedicated and sacrificed their all lives for next generation and brought a better life for us by working in toil and moil . In return , it is important to deserve to be paid back in appropriate manner.

On the other hand, some other people believe that governments has to pay for this care service. It is also suitable that government should support the old people(find new words) if they do not have any children to take care of them or do not have salary for their living expenses, government should take responsibility for funding them. Furthermore , getting older is an inevitable fact in human life and not excepting anyone we will get older in the future , family and government had better to have a good preparation for convalescence (why?) . This is also a common issue of society but anyone's business , therefore, paying for this care services is an undeniable responsibility of government.

In conclusion(don't announce the end when it is upon the reader, they can see that) , I would rather insist that this kind of the social responsibilities should be reasonably implemented by the government of any country. More importantly, authorities and politic makers can take actions for a long term initiative , hopefully this reasonable solution will work in the near future.

---
you haev a big problem, you presented one side, and a counter-argument... and you did not logically take a position. you didn't reinforce the position you close on, there is no WHY. Your examples cancel eachother out, all that is left is your possibly arbitrarily assigned position. I'm sure it is not arbitrary, but you don't display your reasons that make the position better.

Also, you left out other possibilities. Your title says governments or parents, but your intro paragraph says "who should pay" so what is goign on here?
OP Huong nisha 3 / 1  
Apr 9, 2013   #5
Thank for your comments. I will try to avoid making these mistakes in next essays.


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