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How can governments and individuals reduce the rate of accidents? IETLS


Bazarov 2 / 2  
Mar 13, 2013   #1
Road accidents claim far too many lives. What can governments and individuals do to reduce this problem?

Throughout this century, road accidents happen quite frequently around the world. As a result too many damages are caused and lives are claimed by these accidents. In my opinion, there are many things that governments and individuals should do in order to reduce this problem. Some of them I will mention on the following paragraphs.

Firstly, one possible way to solve this problem would be to increase the amount of fines. Obviously, if governments increase the penalties on breaking traffic laws, then people might prevent themselves from breaking rules. As a result, the number of traffic accidents would be reduced. This is just one solution.

Another problem of road accidents is lack of special roads, especially roads for schoolchildren in my view. An alternative way to avoid road accidents is to increase the number of special roads, particularly, roads for students and schoolchildren, roads for bicycles and also reproduce the number of underground roads. For instance, there are too many schools and too many pupils in the world. It is clear that majority of road accidents are caused by children. If governments increase the special roads for children and teach them effectively to use these roads, the number of accidents is likely to go down.

If the steps above were taken on the way to prevent road accidents, I think the effects would be positive.

To sum up, there are several ways to prevent road accidents. I mentioned just some of them. Although many measures are taken road accidents still remain a problem which we all need to fight against.

RohitNayak - / 1 1  
Mar 13, 2013   #2
Hi,

About the essay:

First the good part.Format is acceptable.
The solution given are good.

Now some improvement points.
Introduction could be improved drastically by adding new and better points such as the social aspect of the problem.

I would want you to add more lines to the first point. as it gets over in just 2-3 lines. add more explanation for re-defaulters

The statistics used in the second point have to be confirmed. I also recommend that you use statistics you are 100 sure of.

As per the grammar of the essay:

Practice Tenses extensively.
You also need a brush-up of prepositions and vocabulary..

Rest .. get a good ietls grammar book, and practice writing a lot before taking the exam
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 20, 2013   #3
As a result too many damages are caused and lives are claimed by these accidents.

As a result too many damages have been caused and lives been claimed.

Some of them I will mention on the following paragraphs.

.... This really does not add any value to your essay. It reads better without this line.

Firstly, one possible way to solve this problem would be to increase the amountvalue of fines.

Obviously, if governments increase the penalties on breaking traffic laws, then people might prevent themselves from breaking rules.

Obviously, if governments increase penalty fees on breaking traffic laws, it would alert people to be more cautious and obey the traffic rules.


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