Unanswered [30] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


'governments should not move their capitals without necessity' - IELTS


kkshwesin 1 / 1  
Feb 15, 2012   #1
In many world and throughout history , governments have to move their capitals why they do this?
What are the potential problems and benefits?

Nowadays, the governments in some countries , they moved their government capitals into their new capitals .For example , although Sydney is the liveliest and most cosmopolitan city in Australia . But the capital of Australia is "Canberra" and Australian government locate all government buildings in the capital of Canberra. Because the government in some countries think that it is better to move their capitals in order to make more spaces for their government buildings in their new capitals .

First of all, each government in many countries believe that they encourage their local people to develop their local businesses in their rural areas .As a result , local people in rural areas have better job opportunities in their local areas instead of travelling to other cosmopolitan areas for their job prospect. Thus ,their lifestyles become more convenient and easier than before.

Furthermore , governments in many countries agree that they would have more wide areas in new capital for their government buildings rather than areas in the old capital .Because of being overcrowded by people and commercial buildings in the metropolitan area, each government in many countries take into account moving their old capitals to the new capitals as an important factor.

From the other people point of view, some people in urban areas claim that the disadvantages of moving their government capitals to the new capital far outweigh the advantages. Because people don't want to leave their old capital in respects of moving the location of their jobs ,the rate of unemployment in old capital areas increase more and more. Consequently, the life of urban areas can be severely affected by unemployment caused by economic crisis and financial crisis.

Moreover, The role of the government is essential to develop the capital such as bridge building and road construction that support transportation to be better in urban areas .The better transportation we have, the most enjoyable lifestyles we would get. But the government doesn't want to spend any budget on the development of old capitals after moving their capital. Therefore ,most skyscraper buildings have been emptied of people when people started leaving their capital because people can't afford the high cost of living in their urban areas without having any well-paid jobs. Although new capitals are highly developed in their transportation and local businesses , the economic in old capitals is declining more and more .

In conclusion ,from my point of view , governments should not move their capitals without necessity. Because the old capitals have many drawback on both urban life and urban development. Due to the economic downturn in old capitals , people in old capitals are poorer and poorer. In spite of having better lifestyles in new capitals ,the increasing rate of unemployment leads to economic and social crisis.
oldapachee 3 / 2  
Feb 16, 2012   #2
Dear kkshwesin,
I am not a native English speaker but I found a few mistakes in your essay.

1- You should not use although...but. You should say: ...although Sydney is the liveliest and most cosmopolitan city in Australia, the capital of Australia is "Canberra"...

2- You can not use 'convenient' as an adj. for lifestyle, you should say: healthy lifestyle, comfortable lifestyle, and so on. if you try to use appropriate adjectives, your essay sound more natural.

3- You should not say: skyscraper buildings as skyscraper is a building.
4- 'economic' in ...economic in old capitals is declining more and more... does not make sense as it is an adjective.
OP kkshwesin 1 / 1  
Feb 16, 2012   #3
Thanks alot oldapache:


Home / Writing Feedback / 'governments should not move their capitals without necessity' - IELTS
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳