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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Are governments responsible for environmental preservation?


imduonggg 2 / 3  
Mar 7, 2022   #1

ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION TOPIC



Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Given the alarming deterioration in the ecosystem, many individuals argue that governments are responsible for environmental preservation. While it is important for parliaments to take the initiative, I strongly believe that people's role in tackling these issues is indispensable due to their significant impacts on nature.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that it is the responsibility of politicians to tighten regulations on environmental problems and take the initiative in this journey. Since they are given the power to make changes to the law, any of their actions would have significant impacts on the behaviors of citizens which directly affect the surrounding environment. For instance, if the Ministry of Environment applied strictly financial punishment on people who cut down trees illegally, they would be afraid and stop their crime. Furthermore, as politicians are considered role models for residents, them taking the initiative would raise awareness among the vast majority of people about the necessity of natural preservation. This can be seen in many Vietnamese new schools, when the city council sent a tree to these schools as a gift, it has started to influence students to grow more plants on their campus. Such small actions, as a result, might lead to considerable improvements in the environment in the future.

On the other hand, an individual's role in solving this issue is part and parcel given their huge impacts on nature. This could be explained by the fact that apart from politicians, the rest of us make up nearly 100% of the world population. Consequently, even an insignificant action like littering a plastic bag, combined with tons of other bags being thrown away around the globe can devastate the entire ecosystem. In fact, the deterioration in the environment these days is also the aftermath of irresponsible exploitation and usage of natural resources as well as inhumane wars happening for centuries just for the convenience of humans' lives. As a result, only unity and precise awareness among every individual worldwide can resolve these natural issues.

Based on the aforementioned points, while politicians can partly tackle the problems by tightening environmental regulations, it is mainly individuals' actions that have huge impacts on nature. I am also convinced that as soon as people are fully aware of their roles and willing to take serious steps, the environment would be improved.

387 words

AND WHICH BAND SCORE WOULD I GET FOR THIS ESSAY?
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,765 4768  
Mar 8, 2022   #2
Why is the writer constantly changing the presentation slant of the original prompts? This is the second time that he has created an argument and debate where only ideas are presented in the original. These create prompt deviations in the prompt restatement section that will result in failing scores being given for inaccurate rephrasing. While he provided an extent response in the correct format this time, it will still not be considered because he did not respond to the original question being asked in relation to his (dis)agreement with the original prompt idea. Rather than clearly agreeing or disagreeing, he decided to strongly believe in the people's role within the issue. This is an error created by the incorrect arrangement of the sentence words. While it might sound prompt responsive to an ESL, it is not prompt responsive at all to an ENL.

Again, the same problem with the response format. I will not repeat myself in this essay as the same errors exist as in the first one that was written. I can only hope that the writer will learn from his mistakes. He should not write more than one essay per day as he is seeking to have his work reviewed and corrected. Writing multiple essays that contain the same problems are a waste of his and the reviewer's time.

He has also over written the essay. He will not pass when he writes almost 400 words, but does not properly respond to the question. He will still fail since he has shown an inability to follow instructions or write in an expected manner. Nobody has ever passed this test based on an extended word count alone. Quality and comprehension are scored in this test, not the word count.

You may contact us privately for your scoring concerns.


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