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Governments should review education system, unemployment policy - reasons for crime among teenagers.


cemo 1 / -  
Mar 10, 2016   #1
Crime among teenagers
Crime is defined violent against to law. Without doubt each person in any country should be obey the rules. Gender or age or religion is not matter for the law. Courts approach politely to teenagers nowadays ,thus crime rates in the teenagers are increasing dramatically. Courts should consider that almost all mother of kids using folic acid in pregnancy duration. Kids grown up earlier than supposed time. Kids thinks and lives like an adults ones because of medicals. Because of that this kind of supporter feeding reasons of increasing crime rates in teenagers. The other reasons and preventions about that will be further explained.

Firstly, capitalism in the modern word push to families working harder and harder day by day. Parents can not share their feelings with their children. Kids are growing without love and care. They are handling with their problems by alcohol and drugs.

Secondly unemployment is a big deal waiting to handle. Unemployed and poor parents can not provide their young one demands. Teenagers omitting crime to money.

On the other hand, education system raised children who knows math, unfortunately morality always be stay at second plan for education system.
Governments should review education system. Addressed unemployment policy. Drug abuse and alcohol using should be controlled by the police department roughly.

NeraTulip 1 / 3 1  
Apr 8, 2016   #2
Hi Cemo,

This is my try:

Crime is defined as a violation of the law. Without doubt each person in any country should be obey the rules.

Gender or, age or religion is not matter for the law.
I am not sure about what you would like to mean with this sentence. Perhaps that gender, age or religion should not have any impact on the application of the law against crimes?

Courts approach politely to teenagers nowadays ,thus crime rates in the teenagers are increasing dramatically.
I would maybe add a too before "politely" as it would explain better the following statement

Courts should consider that almost all mother of kids usinguse folic acid in pregnancy duration. Kids growngrow up earlier than the supposed time. Kids thinks and lives like an adults ones because of medicals.

Because of that this kind of supporter feeding reasons of increasing crime rates in teenagers. The other reasons and preventions about that will be further explained.

I think this sentence needs to be reformulated as it is not very clear what you are trying to say.

Firstly, capitalism in the modern word push to families workingto work harder and harder day by day . Parents can not share their feelings with their children. Kids are growing without love and care. They are handling with their problems byusing alcohol and drugs.

Secondly, unemployment is a big deal waiting to be taken care of . Unemployed and poor parents can not providemeet their young ones' demands. Teenagers commit crime for money.

On the other hand, education system raised children who knows math, unfortunately morality always be stay at second plan for education system. Perhaps you mean it stays secondary compared to other subjects?

Governments should review education system. They should Addressed unemployment policy. Drugsabuse and alcohol usingabuse should be controlled by the police department roughly.

Hope it helps!
dina79 20 / 26 3  
Apr 8, 2016   #3
Crime among teenagers

Courts approach politely to teenagers nowadays ,thus crime rates in the teenagers are increasing dramatically.
(It is not clearly and do not paraphrase)

It is my suggestion for alternatife in your writing
The first step, I think you must separate the introduction in paragraph 1, paragraph 2 is the body 1 and paragraph 2 is the body 1 after that in paragraph 4 the conclusion include your opinion so that your writing have the good structure to read it with clearly

The introduction: you can paraphrase the task and write the thesis statement about the question and give both perspective in your writing


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