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IELTS - governments subsidize museums, theaters and other arts, and it concerns many people.


autumn_waltz 8 / 14 2  
Mar 2, 2015   #1
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Today, the fact that governments subsidize museums, theaters and other arts concerns many people. One may hear indignant public claiming that authorities should stop such investments completely and redirect those money on public needs. As for me, I find such exclamations a bit simplistic and suggest that this problem is complex and multi-dimensional.

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Zihni92 3 / 8  
Mar 2, 2015   #2
Hi autumn_waltz,
I am keen on your writing, and I still do not understand with the meaning, could you explain more ?

1. this is the IELTS task 2 right, as far as I know, we must write at least 250 words, why you just write by 239 words?
2. in this body paragraph, you just write about your opinion, it is possible for IELTS task 2 ? can you share the reference material ?

and after I read this, I want to ask you more

The fact of the matter is that art galleries and museums [are] powerful educational tools that may facilitate the intelligent and cultural growth of the population. In order to make museums accessible to general public, the low costs of the tickets should be maintained, which gives rise to the need for the investment.

are: in my grammar book, if we use clause, the verb must be singular, why you put 'are' in there ?

I hope you can help me to answer that I confuse in this passage,CMIIW

thanks you,

best regards
Zihni
Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Mar 2, 2015   #3
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead.

Today, the fact that governments subsidize museums, theaters and other arts concerns many people[i](this sentence has double verbs). (1) One may hear indignant(I'm not sure that this adjective can be collocated with public) public claiming that authorities should stop(pay attention, the prompt does not say that government should stop) such investments completely and redirect those money(you have not mention about "money" before) on public needs. As for me, I find such exclamations a bit simplistic and suggest(suggest/argue??) that this problem is complex and multi-dimensional.(2)

1. this sentence does not match with the prompt; Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money

In my opinion, governments would better invest in the arts. However, while By doing so, authorities should take into consideration an economic and a demographic situation of their country, so as to ensure that the investments in the arts and in the social needs are distributed in the adequate proportionalityproportionally . It needs to be always born in mind that, as every country has the needs of the first priority (health, education, for example ) and the second priority, such as the arts,. the needs of the highest priority should always be satisfied first. Obviously, if a particular country suffered from famine, it would be a nonsense for the governments(you have to be consistent to use singular/plural Noun) to invest not in the basic needs but in the theaters.

In this paragraph you use your opinion for topic sentence; however, it's slightly contrast with the last sentence of this paragraph that you against of the idea.

Still(It's uncommon if you use this word at the beginning of paragraph), the complete discontinuation of the governments' investments in the arts is not a productive policy. The fact of the matter is that art galleries and museums are powerful educational tools that may facilitate the intelligent and cultural growth of the population(how do you prove this statement?). In order to make museums accessible to general public, the low costs(this is a new topic that you have not mentioned so in the introduction) of the tickets should be maintained, which gives rise to the need for the investment.

Overall;
1. you have to pay attention of complex sentence
2. IELTS essay is not only how the grammatical can be corrected, but also how about the flow of sentence and idea. Honestly, I still confuse with your idea of this topic, and also with your own opinion.

3. Task 2, you need to write 250 words
4. you have to know well what is your task so as to far from off-topic

Let me give you general idea of paragraph;
1. Introduction; you have to paraphrase this; "Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead". and also, youw own opinion to answer this task "To what extent do you agree with this statement?"

2. Body 1; One Idea Paragraph/Multiple Idea===="agree with this statement"
- One Idea; Topc sentence, explanation, example, result
- Multiple; topic sentence, firstly, explanation, example, result, secondly,...

3. Body 2; One Idea Paragraph/Multiple Idea===="disagree with this statement"
- One Idea; Topc sentence, explanation, example, result
- Multiple; topic sentence, firstly, explanation, example, result, secondly,...

4. Conclusion
you have to paraphrase your introduction+recommendation(suggestion/fear)[/i]

Good Luck! Keep fighting for IELTS!!


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