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GRE-Governments support financially the main cities because the major cities preserve culture


japan2016 1 / -  
Nov 4, 2018   #1

Gre Issue essay



Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

Answer:

Main cities contribute to bringing the images of a country to the global economic and cultural agenda. However, to purport that governments have to offer financial supports to the major cities because of their role in preserving and developing the country's cultural characteristics is to present an overstated generation. I firmly believe that it is compelling to support the poorer provinces to survive instead of mainly assist the developed cities. Government should encourage the autonomy of cities rather than making them to be depended on central government. Furthermore, the heritages of nation's culture are not only preserved in the major cities but also many other general provinces.

Comparing to the less developed provinces, the major cities have their own resources to develop. Given the flourish of economic, trade, and tourism activities in the cities, most of nations' main cities have sufficient resources to implement the policies which meet the need of citizens and assist the preservation of culture. On the other hand, the countryside areas, which do not have such similar opportunities of development, mostly need the subsidies of central governments to provide public services. Vietnam, for examples, has four cities which have sufficient capacity to cover their expenditures, but the remaining fifty nine less developed provinces need the government's supports. It is compelling to care for the underdeveloped provinces to meet the basic demands of people rather than emphasizing on the cities which can stand on their own feet to advance.

Additionally, the cultural characteristics of a nation are preserved in many provinces, not only in the major cities. Most of developing countries, such as the countries in the South East Asia, are agricultural countries, therefore, most of distinct culture characteristics are preserved in the countryside areas. If the governments focus only on keeping the culture in cities, they do not take into account the huge treasures of national culture. Given the insufficient capacity of poor local governments, this such ignorance would result in the lost of many important parts in the whole cultural picture of the nations.

Many may argue that the major cities collect the cultural characteristics from various provinces, particularly the capitals of countries such as Hanoi, Tokyo, Bangkok,..., then these cities' cultures are worth to invest on. However, these people neglect the fact that most of these collective cultural characteristics are not original. Since majority cultural features depart from the other areas instead of main cities, governments should track out the original places to propose appropriate policies to preserve and develop the features.

In conclusion, governments should not mainly support the main cities because of their appearance of diversified national culture. Many underdeveloped provinces are deserved to earn the governments' subsidies to meet the basic needs of citizens. Meanwhile, governments ought to encourage urban governments to thrive by their own capacities. The cultural traditions are also preserved originally in countryside areas, not only in the main cities.
christian todo - / 1  
Nov 6, 2018   #2
hello .
i will give some comments for your text:
1. in the first sentence, you use "to bringing". i mean, that will be great if u change it be "to bring". Formula: to+v1
2. in second line, i found that point " an overstated". i am sure, you want to use noun so it could be "an overstating generation"
3. we can change this statement be "...rather than make them depends on central government"
4. it could be "If the governments only focus on ..."
5. that will be great " ... capacity poor for isolate local governments,"
6."Many may argue that ..." you have no subject for that statement, you can use such as people, persons, or citizens.
7. sorry, but i am not sure this is the correct word " subsidies" you can search other words for changing that word

sorry, i talk a lot. i hope those correction can help you
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Nov 6, 2018   #3
Th, based on the way that you wrote this essay I believe that, even with the grammatical errors, you are looking at a minimum score of 5. Why is it coming in at such a high score? Well, you wrote an essay long enough to allow you to clearly explain your point of view. There were good examples presented to support your reasoning and your transitions from one sentence to another were good enough to create a smooth flowing presentation.

If you want to get a higher score than a 5, then you must write anywhere between 500-600 words. This is the word range that normally gets a test taker, who has a good command of the English language a 5.5 - 6 rating. Now, what I did notice was that you forgot to add the action descriptor word "ing" to represent current actions. Please don't forget to do that. The term is "assisting" which means a current action rather than "assist". In addition to that, the phrase is not "overstated generation" but "overstated generalization" which means a wide public assumption. To be specific it is a "a general statement or concept obtained by inference from specific cases.". Be careful when you use these English terms. Using the correct terms can help increase your score, use the wrong descriptor often in your essay and your word or paragraph clarity will suffer.


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