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Governments must support financially major cities because it preserve national tradition.


Junisha111p 11 / 21 4  
Jul 9, 2015   #1
Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.


Response-

National tradition is influencing in the major cities by influence of technology, but in the village it is still preserved. The stated points do not carry the complete truth about the culture heritage of the country due to following reason.

First, Government ensuring the financial support to the major cities only. In that way government is giving less attention towards rural area and town. it is total contrary that focusing in the major city could preserve the nation heritage because mainly heritage of nation preserved in the rural areas. Cities, where people are completely aware of technology, malls, nightclubs, are changed their view from their native culture. By in contact of internet, people are tending to adopt western culture. They are forgetting their root, such as now a days, people are meeting online from different country and getting married, in that way one person has different tradition and another has different. So, they are not able to preserve their tradition.

However, in the rural area such as in small village where technologies has not impacted much, people are still following their tradition. Youth are taught to follow own tradition such as marry in traditional way, native language, festival, worship of God. By following enlisted topic, in reality, preserve tradition, for instance, when two people in same country are marrying and practicing their native tradition then they will passover same tradition towards children. If they would not follow tradition then how it would be possible for them to taught their kids. In the give two contrasts, it clearly shows that people from the rural area preserve national tradition compare to people who are from major cities and not following tradition.

Furthermore, it is true that in the major cities, there would be some national heritage where people still follows traditional culture, but it would be very difficult that people are living their life in traditional way. In cities, in country like India, where most people depend on employments in the corporate sector, they work late and they sleep late, their culture is completely changed from their traditional one, when they gets holiday they do late night party, which is not a tradition of India.

In the aforementioned reason, it is quite elucidated that if government wants to preserve national tradition they should support rural area and motivates them to follow national tradition. Similarly, government must encourage all corporate sectors to follow their own traditional culture.

Jaggi7921 13 / 22  
Jul 9, 2015   #2
Junisha i Point out some errors in ur essay such as-
1.it is total contrary that focusing in the major city could preserve the nation heritage because mainly heritage of nation preserved in the rural areas.

My comment is 'this is very confusing sentence' i dnt understand what u explained thorugh this line.
2.They are forgetting their root, such as now a days, people are meeting online from different country and getting married, in that way one person has different tradition and another has different.

My comment on this line is first its nowadays or now-a-days not now a days.Secondly u write one person has different tradition and another has differnt-its best to u if u also write what its effects to culture.

3.Youth are taught to follow own tradition such as marry in traditional way, native language, festival, worship of God.
Let i write this sentence-youth should be taught to follow their own tradition such as marry in traditional way,utilized their native language and celebrate festivals in their native ways etc.

4.In the give(n) two contrasts,

Hope its help u.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jul 10, 2015   #3
- First, the Government is ensuring the....

- In that way the government...

- By inWith the contact of internet, people are tendingtend to adopt western culture.

- They are forgetting their root, such as now a daysnowadays , people...

- So, they are not able to preserve their traditionIn such a case like this, people forget about their tradition needless to say it's not preserved anymore .

- The youth are taught to follow their own tradition such as to marry in traditional way, native language, festival, worship of God.

- By following the enlisted topic, in reality, preserve tradition, for instance, when two people in same country are marrying and practicing their native tradition then they will passover same tradition towards children.This sentence is just overwhelming with too much information, I will rephrase it;

In reality, to preserve ones tradition, a couple that are married sharing the same tradition will practice it and will be able to preserve it and hand it down to the next generation.


Junisha, I go through your essay, the biggest challenge was to actually understand and get the message that you want to send out to your readers.

It would help if your essay is composed in a logical order and stay in it's own form rather than jumping all over the place.

I made a few remarks and I hope it helps enhance the essay.

Keep writing

Cheers!!!


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