Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 3

The graph compares figures the salary players of basketball , football ,baseball sports between

chungoclan 1 / -  
Nov 18, 2020   #1

annual salary from different sports

The graph compares figures the salary players of basketball , football ,baseball sports between 1970 and 2000.
Overall, the basketball is the most popular during in the period show. The number of salary players was slightly higher than that of football and baseball.

The number of the salary players increased to around 150.000 in 1.000.000 dollars. By contrast, the amount of baseball and football was slightly lower than that of basketball . The basketball was sported popular over a period of 30 years from 1970 to 1990.

Around 2000, the number of football decreased between 800 and 750 dollars , by contrast basketall was rose . Over a period of 10 years by around 100.000 to about 2.400.000 dollars , the salary will continute in the future. Not only the salary players climed but also baseball rose around 1.000.000 dollars.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,709 3055  
Nov 18, 2020   #2
What sort of graph is it? A line graph. Be specific. You will be presented with various types of graphs depending upon the task requirements. Part of your job, when summarizing the essay, is to represent the data in full detail whenever possible. That includes, a proper identification of the image provided. Based on your summary of the information based on the year on year presentation, you would have scored better if you had indicated that these information:

... were collated over a period of 3 decades, from 1970 up to 2000.

Why should you have worded the presentation that way? It would have helped show your ability to form more complex sentences and increase your GRA score. It would have helped with your LR score because you would have used intermediate vocabulary to form the sentence as well.

However, the main problem with your presentation is not the format of the presentation but rather, the number of words in the presentation. You must always present a minimum of 150 words for the task 1 essay. You only presented 140 words in this presentation. Therefore, a word count deduction will be applied to your work, resulting in a lower than expected opening TA score. Why will the missing 10 words affect your TA score? The accuracy of your presentation is scored based on your ability to meet the minimum word count. So no matter how few the words, you still showed that you cannot form a data driven essay that meets the minimum word presentation requirement.
vinhneymar4529 1 / 2  
Nov 18, 2020   #3
This is IELTS wri task 1 right?
You just presented fewer than 150 words. You need to practice writing tho

Home / Writing Feedback / The graph compares figures the salary players of basketball , football ,baseball sports between