The graph illustrates the average yearly spending on mobile phone, national and overseas landline

spending on mobile phones and landline services

I have written this writing task 1 in IELTS, but wondering whether there are any faults or things I need to improve. My target within 6 months is to achieve 7.0-8.0 in writing task 1. I really appreciate your help! Thank you!

The graph illustrates the average yearly spending on mobile phone, national and overseas landline services in a period between 2001 and 2010. The units are measured in dollars.

The graph illustrates the average yearly spending on mobile phone, national and overseas landline services in a period between 2001 and 2010. The units are measured in dollars.

In common, the annual expenditure of national fixed-line services experienced a downward trend while the opposite was true for cellular phone spending. Also, the figure of overseas landline services was relatively stable during the period.

As regards the first year of the period, the yearly national landline payment was ranked as the highest among other services with $700. However, in 2006, its figure dropped considerably by roughly $200 which equaled the annual handphone spending. Since consumers gradually spent more for mobile phones in the following 4 years, its expenditure grew significantly from $200 to $500. Meanwhile, the international fixed-line consumption increased incrementally from around $250 to roughly $320 before declining by $20 in 2004. Then, it remained stable at 300$ until the fifth year of the period.

In 2006, domestic landline services became less popular with a drop of $100 in its annual spending. On the contrary, cell phones were increasingly consumed which induced its payment to rise from $500 to over $700. Additionally, the amount of money paid for overseas fixed-line services was unchanged with around $300 throughout.

It is important to remember the sentence number requirement per paragraph to avoid GRA deduction. All paragraphs inclusive of the summary must contain 3-5 individual reference/ information sentences. Getting used to such a practice ensures 3 things:

1. Clearly informative paragraphs.
2. Proper mix of compound, complex, and simple sentences.
3. Avoidance of possible GRA deductions based on run on presentations, punctuation errors, and possible information confusion.

The summary is too compressed and automatically contains at least 2 of these errors.

A complete image identifier is needed. A graph in a general reference. What type of graph is it? More familiarity with image types will help the accuracy score.

Always use the year reference in the reporting paragraphs. These will help the reader track the information from the summary into the report itself. The task 1 essay focuses on information accuracy and clarity. Always place the currency marker before the digits. Use a uniform currency presentation at all times.

Let us say that you have the potential to achieve your target score. You are not there yet, but you are getting closer to it.

I often use the specific year (like "the year 2014", "during 2014") instead of "the fifth year of period" because it can cause confusion