Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

The graph shows the amount of money earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002

CheeseQuang 1 / -  
Nov 27, 2021   #1

weekly earnings of full-time graduate employees

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given line graph described how much the graduates earned in 2002 from different age groups, and from those having different qualifications. Overall, we can clearly see that those people that were younger would earn more than the elder ones.

Firstly, with people having higher degree there was an upward trend, in which the number climbed dramatically, with those were from 21-35 years old. About the elder ones, from 35-45, the increase was slight, from between 600 and 700 to between 700 and 800. On the other hand, there was a marginal fall with people from 41-45 to 51-55, it dropped from between 700 and 800 to a little bit more than 700, whereas, with the oldest people, the amount of money grew up gradually to approximately 800. Secondly, there was a steady increase recorded with people from 21-40, and having low degree, then with the elder one, the money that they can earn stayed unchanged, between 700 and 800. Finally, with other ones, it was recorded that the younger people from 21-40 years old earned more, there was a dramatical upward trend, whilst with the people were 45 or older, the money they can made dropped steadily

To sum up, we see that all people with different ages and different qualifications would earn money high or low

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,410 4391  
Nov 28, 2021   #2
Incorrect writing format. You cannot use the task 2 essay format for the task 1 essay. The task 1 essay is comprised of no more than 3-4 paragraphs, depending on the number of images presented for the examinee. You only need 3 paragraphs in this essay:

- Summary +trending sentence
- Analysis and comparison 1
- Analysis and comparison 2

There is no concluding statement in the task 1 test.

The third paragraph is over written due to the incorrect presentation format. The comparisons must be divided into 2 paragraphs. I would suggest that you rewrite this essay using the correct presentation format instead. I cannot accurately review your writing skills at this point because your presentation format is incorrect.

Home / Writing Feedback / The graph shows the amount of money earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002