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The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria 1995-2005



AnhNguyen97 1 / 2  
May 2, 2020   #1

The amount of money spent on books



I'm practicing for my upcoming IELTS exam. So I would really appreciate if you help me check my essay. Thank you very much !

Topic: The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The line graph compares the spending on books in four different countries over the period of 10 years starting from the year 1995.
Overall, it can be seen that people in Germany spent more on books than those in the remaining three countries. However, the expenditure on books in all four countries increased significantly during the observed period.

In 1995, the amount of money that German spent on books was highest, at about $80 millions. The spending figures for France and Italy were similar, at $55 millions and $50 millions, respectively. In contrast, the figure for Austria was much lower at just $30 millions. Despite some fluctuations, the spending on books in Germany remained higher than in the other countries, and this spending reached a peak of $100 millions in 2005.

There were a steady growth in the expenditure on books in France, and this finally hit its highest point of $75 millions in 2005. Also, the money spent on book in Austria rose sharply from $40 millions in 2001 to over $70 millions in 2005. In Italia, the spending on books witnessed a gradual upward trend during the 10 years period, reaching a final figure of just over $60 millions in 2005;


  • Money spent on Books


mrtameng98 1 / 3  
May 2, 2020   #2
was the highest
millions
There were was a
ten-years period
From my point, rather than writing "10", you should write "ten".
Hope that helps.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15439  
May 3, 2020   #3
Kindly focus your writing on your grammar and content rather than the word count. When I checked your essay, I discovered that you had written over 200 words. Something that is achievable during the cbt test, but not an assurance that you will pass the test. Your report is riddled with grammar errors, which would have a score lowering effect on your final score. Remember, the time allotment is 20 minutes for the task. You need to leave at least 5 minutes to review your work. Now, if you happen to be a fast typist, then make sure you spend the remaining time reviewing any potential mistakes in your data report that needs to be corrected. Spending time editing the report, rather than writing a long report, will result in a higher score.

Grammar issues include the wrong usage of a semicolon. In the section; "... just over 60 million in 2005:" You should have used a period at the end. That was the end of a sentence, not the presentation of new information. Review the plural word usage rules, or better yet, look into the plural formation of words. Million is already in plural form when referring to the listed amount. No need to add an S at the end. The S is used at the end when you refer to several counts of millions.

Your summary overview has the following elements presented correctly:
- Topic
- Image identification

Missing overview information:
- List of countries
- Money amount reference (millions)

Incorrectly presented:
Country name- German = Germany
...money spent on book = ... money spent on books
Italia = Italy (use the reference as seen in the chart regardless of the other name of the country)


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